Paul hands off to Grace Ann, the coolest-ever character on this show if you love people like this as much as I do. She speaks in staccato copy. "Gentlemen. Bill. Your market is dominated by the big boys: Home Depot, Lowe's, Wal-Mart. Not a friendly group, no sir, not the warm and fuzzies. But you do have a potential edge: you're homegrown...based here, in Salt Lake. Bill says something Bill-like about how we at Home Plus try to "support our own," playing into her semiotics eugenic mind-trip perfectly. "Exactly. Message: 'You're one of us, they're not.' Now you need to let your customers know you're one of them. Nothing like feeling you belong. Paul?" Paul swoops in with two pictures of a blonde lady in a pink dress with a Peter Pan collar, Jell-O mold, I guess, just out of shot. Don's like, "Same woman?" And Grace Ann tells them to look closer. Paul points to the outline of her Temple garments in the same picture. "This is code," he says. "It says, 'I'm wearing my garments, I'm one of you.'" Bill looks askance at Grace Ann, and I thought at first it was because everybody's scared of scary old marketing semiotics, but I think really it's because: who better to understand the thin line of being in and out of a church, or a cult, or several of both. Poor Bill. "That's what Utah will see, even if they're not looking," says Paul. Grace Ann glossomarketingmemifies about "medium-saturation market-sensitive media campaign" to "brand Home Plus as Utah's family superstore." She describes using testimonials from Home Plus employees, "crammed with visual clues, subliminal. Home Plus, Family. Utah, Family. Family, Us. Home Plus, Us. Gentlemen?" Behind her, they unfurl a banner that says, "HOME PLUS IS US: Utah's Family Super Store." Don calls her a firecracker, which she totally is, and Don is overcome by their vision. They stare and smile. Don stares at the firecracker and wonders if she'd like to make out with his wives.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A- | 1393 USERS: B-
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