Inside, Bill's praying for "grit" and "perseverance," and closes the prayer. Everybody at the table says "Amen," and then Sarah and Heather say "Amen," which is sort of a dramatic entrance, which is sort of the point. Sarah introduces Heather and everybody stares at everybody else for an unlimited time. Bill greets Heather, and Barb asks if they weren't supposed to be working, but they explain that there was a grease fire and continue to flip their hair and fidget. Barb invites them to sit down to dinner, but they say they already ate and want to go up and study. Heather thanks Barb and says everything smells great, and gets a big fat look at everybody at the table, and Nicki stares at her like death, actually shaking her head a little bit, like, you won't see the light of day again, little girl, and follows them upstairs with her nasty, ratty little eyes. Barb breathes and says, "I need a reality check!" HA! "Is this is a something? Or is this a nothing?" Margene replies, very off-the-cuff and matter-of-factly, feeding a kid with one hand, "She's just being rebellious because she feels too restricted," to stares all around. "...I mean, or something." Everybody looks at her and thinks about what a good actor Ginnifer Goodwin is.
Ben's on the phone with Jason! Awkward! "So what was that about, do they do that all the time?" Jason says no, but sometimes they do. I should have gone to high school in Salt Lake. Man. "Isn't that kind of homosexual? Like when he slapped it around?" There was...much laughing, in my house, after that line. Because the answer is: "Fantastic." Clearly. Jason tells him that watching a built classmate slap his penis around while giggling is in no way "homosexual," and Ben says he maybe "got a vibe thing," and Jason says that, again, the vibe that he was feeling was his own overwhelming gayness. "Did it turn you on or something? Because if you're vibing, maybe you're gay, man." Ben tells him that it is "cool" and that he should avoid getting "stupid," but...on the other hand, Horace's erect penis was "bigger than average, right?" Oh man. Are you kidding me with this? The thing is, when you're this repressed, something as rudimentary as gay/straight is kind of...beside the point. That's like graduate level. And what that means is, no matter what you were supposed to end up being, that's the light at the end of the tunnel you're never going to traverse, because you're locked at this end of the tunnel, and what happens is you end up whipping out your penis and talking about it constantly and getting boners in wood shop and slapping your penis around for your friends' enjoyment and...letting it drive. Whatever. "Bigger than yours," says Jason. Shut up, shut up, shut up. You’re the male equivalents of the Olsen Twins. It's creepy. "Shut up," says Ben. On that we can all agree.