Big Love
Eviction

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Blame It On the Bossa Nova

Speaking of sociopaths -- and Roman's kids -- fake-ovulating Nicki is busy getting fake-impregnated by Bill. It is not romantic even a little bit, and Little Bill agrees, but I mean, Little Bill's exhausted after driving that SUV around all day. She's like, "It's cool, you can stop," but he's wanting to get it done because of the fake ovulating, and she just touches his face and kisses him sweetly. I imagine a Paxton in that state of disinterest and desperation coming at your face is a strong incentive to let the ovulation do whatever it wants without Little Bill getting involved. He finally rolls off her, convinced it's never happening, and she tells him they should just go to sleep. She turns toward the camera, feeling crapped on, and rolls her eyes, a little. Getting fake-pregnant can be so fake-demeaning.

Margene and two random babies steal out of her house in the morning, and there's a beautiful crane shot down on the street as she makes for Pam's house, right down the middle of the morning lane, exposed and vulnerable and terribly lonely. One short drive later, Carl and Pam help carry her kids into their church, and the old LDS font rears its head.

Elsewhere, Peg shows Barb Nicki's credit card bill, which continues to exist despite Barb's protestations that she doesn't have one. "Oh yes she does, it was confiscated at the store when she tried to use the family discount." There's an in-depth Q&A about how it was confiscated because it was way maxed out, and Peg passes Barb the card activity on it, saying not to ask her how she did it. "I don't wanna incriminate myself," she smiles. I adore her. Barb doesn't want to see it, but she needs to, but it's Nicki's business, but it's actually, Peg says, family business. Barb picks it up and her eyebrows go crazy. "A $6700 limit?" Peg says it's maxed out, even after a payment of around $3000. Barb protests that she doesn't have that kind of money, but Peg's like, "And yet." Barb wigs that Bill would never do that without telling anybody. "Just saying...somebody paid it. This is what happens...when a family starts keeping secrets." Barb says they don't have secrets like that, and Peg basically bites her tongue but points to the proof of one of the many secrets.

At home, Barb calls the credit card company and says she's Nicolette Grant, and consults a very erroriffic cheat sheet with everybody's info -- Bill, 17 May 1955; Barb, 10 June "1974"; Nicki, 18 Nov 1974; Margene, 22 May 1978; "Amanda," 3 Dec 1983; Ben, 22 Jun 1985 -- to give the guy Nicki's last four digits and mother's maiden name. "I just wanted to know you got payment I sent," she says, and he asks on which account. Causing Barb's voice to do a thing I haven't heard it do before.

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Big Love

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