He heads down to the porch to "greet" everyone, i.e. have a stand-off with Roman. The ladies wander inside. Rhonda is looking around, openly intrigued. Adaleen scoffs and finally passes judgment: "Fancy!" Rhonda carefully modulates her expression.

Meanwhile, Bill's telling Roman that he's welcome inside so long as he parks his business disputes at the door. Roman agrees: "Absolutely. There's no substitute for family, son. Not in this life or the next." Bill has no snappy rejoinder to that. Outside, one of Roman's thugs goes to fetch his guitar. Inside, Lois is sitting on the couch and making a big show of working herself into a royal snit. If she's this much fun at parties, I can't wait to see what she's like at weddings. And on this show, the odds that I'll find out are very good.

Adaleen comes tearing in to read an article about the cult that's running in the Los Angeles Times, but the dek brings her up short: "We're just like homosexuals." We get a priceless reaction shot of Teeny rolling her eyes. An awkward silence descends. It won't be the last one of the day.

Barbara's speeding by -- no doubt sneaking off to unwind with a little furtive housecleaning -- when Roman stops her. She wheels around and he takes her hand in his. "How's your health?" he asks. Barbara's reflexive politeness comes in handy: "Oh! Fine, thank you for asking." Roman continues in the same paternal tone, "I'm so happy we could help." Barb withdraws her hand and flees. As she passes Sarah, she whispers, "That man gives me the creeps!" Too bad he's your father-in-law, then. Or is he? Are all of the wives' parents each other's in-laws, or do they only consider their husband's parents as in-laws?

In fact, Barbara is so creeped out, it's escaped her attention that she's just sent Sarah right into the path of the old man with the little habit of marrying teenagers. Roman neatly intercepts Sarah, and she introduces herself. We see Rhonda's head whip around. Roman coos, "Ohhh. You're all grown up now." Rhonda is over there like a shot. Sarah quickly realizes that Rhonda's now settled down with Roman, and she looked visibly spooked. You would too: that whole moment is like that bastard offspring of It's a Wonderful Life and Under the Banner of Heaven.