Bill jogs upstairs to placate his mother. She isn't having it: "Everyone thinks it, no one will say it. It hurts me to be the one." Stupidly, Bill walks into her little verbal trap. Lois continues, "You've not only taken his side, you've become just like him. Just like your father!" Bill pleads with her. He has serious boundary issues -- this woman has brought him nothing but grief recently, and seems intent on dishing out more: "I thought you'd be different. Taking that young girl, that Margene you call her --" "I call her Margene because that's her name!" Bill protests. Lois spits out, "Plural marriage is a religious calling, not a license to coerce young girls!" Bill says heatedly that nobody's coercing anyone here and that Margene chose them. He tells Lois to stay put for a moment.

Back at the most disastrous party since Donner's, Nicki's leading a wan chorus of "Happy Birthday." The room falls silent as she sings "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" for Wayne. Awkward. Sarah is looking upon this spectacle as if it's a math problem beginning with "It takes $200 to take a Southwest flight out of Salt Lake City to anywhere else. How many minutes until I can catch one?"

As if this party weren't bleak enough, Frank's just pulled up. And Nicki's dump truck full of pudding is not wowing guests like she thought it would. She stomps off, leaving Wayne sitting alone and forlorn. Nicki shrieks for Bill to come down. He can't -- he's too busy brokering a meeting between Lois and Margene, in which the younger woman is explaining, "Yes! Yes! Really! I was in customer service at Home Plus, but people were always yelling at me -- there's nothing wrong with the stuff, it's just that I wasn't really good at it -- so Bill brought me home to baby-sit --" Lois gleefully seizes on this as an excuse to berate Bill for marrying the babysitter. Instead of snapping that he'll make damn sure Wife No. 4 is a rocket scientist, he just mutters. Margene plows on, "But I had never known a family that works" -- here, Bill takes off her cowboy hat like it's about to sprout feet and scurry over to Lois -- "that I could be a part of." Lois shrieks, "You married the babysitter." Margene doggedly explains, "I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to be a member of the family." Lois has to resort to snottiness, since nothing else she can say is defensible in the face of this lonely, sincere young woman. Sarah interrupts the shouting match to acidly point out to Lois that her husband's out front.