Big Love
Kingdom Come

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Fall of Roman

Bill comes home to Barb's and goes straight to the kitchen counter, where he finds Ben trying to get his chocolate milk just right. Margene's sitting next to him, tapping away at an iBook. Blogging, probably. Bill and Barb shoo Margene away and descend on Ben, who tries to clam up and flee with his cold Swiss Miss. His parents are right behind him, wanting to know what he told the bishop that he couldn't tell them. Barb tries to make it about how the bishop came over without warning, letting Ben assure her that the bishop doesn't suspect anything about his three moms. Having made this heroic stab at changing the subject, he runs upstairs. Bill decides to try talking to Ben alone, and asks Barb to hang back. Reluctantly, she agrees.

Bill goes into Ben's room and asks what he went to the bishop for. His tone indicates that he doesn't think much of the bishop, and I'm not sure I blame him. Pulling up a chair, he threatens, "I can wait here all day." Not until Barb gives you a night off, you can't. But rather than calling the bluff, Ben says the bishop was supposed to help him stop. "I've been doing it for months." And for the first time in the history of television, the person hearing the phrase "doing it" actually hears it in the way it's meant. Still, Bill is in a bit of denial, asking Ben about bases and what not, but Ben calls himself a "deviant" and says he's been doing "all of it." Bill says it's not an unnatural desire, "But it's the most unholy thing you can do with your body. That's your temple, son." Natural, yet unholy. And they wonder why abstinence-only programs don't work. And then he announces that Ben can't see Brynn any more. End of discussion. Okay, good talk! Ben wants to tell his "side," (whatever that might be), but Bill is done talking. And then he has the gall to say, "In the future, you'll come to me to talk about these things, not that bishop." Ben starts yelling at Bill, so Bill grounds him. Work, home, no computer, no phone, indefinitely. So when Bill said he'd talk to Ben, he didn't so much talk as extract a confession, impose a punishment, and shut him down. I'm sure Barb will be glad she let Bill handle this.

Out in the hallway, Margene and Sarah have been listening in. Hearing Bill about to exit Ben's room, Margene scampers off, leaving Sarah twisting in the breeze. Okay, what with all this hallway eavesdropping and the interfering clergyman, I'm starting to wonder if I'm watching a different show. Bill asks if Sarah knew about this. "Which part?" Sarah asks. Bill warns, "You and I will sit down to talk." Yeah, Sarah knows an empty threat when she hears one. Of course Bill isn't up for it right now (or indeed ever), so he leaves it for the moment (or possibly forever). Sarah decides to go to the bathroom. But it's already occupied; Barb's sitting on the toilet tank, having listening in through the wall that adjoins Ben's room. She's been crying over the news that her son's been de-virginized. Or possibly over what a completely sucky showing Bill just made in there.

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Big Love




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