MONDO EXTRAS

Outside, Tubbs is making short work of Wesley Snipes, proof positive that above all else Miami Vice is a work of fiction. "You ever get in my face again, I'll kill you," Tubbs shouts out in his Antiguan? Bermudian? Peruvian? accent. "I got your streets. And I got your woman. Anything you want back from her, you'll have to pay. Ten percent, you hear? Hotel Excelsior. Suite Twenty. Six. Oh. One." Yes, he really pronounce the suite number in that drawn-out way, and after he finishes that little speech, I feel like I've taken a whirlwind Caribbean tour.

Back at Vice World Headquarters, Gina is exulting in having found the locker containing one pound of pharmaceutical cocaine, which she values at $200,000, or just enough to tide John Belushi over for a three-day weekend. What follows is a scene of strategic planning so dull and tedious, it even bores the actors appearing in it, judging by their glazed expressions. So allow me to sum up: they will use this pound of cocaine to ensnare Wesley Snipes, and they will do it by getting Carla to deliver it unto him. There -- I just saved you two minutes of listening to Lt. Castillo mumble while he stares at his Florsheims. That's Emmy-caliber detachment, people.