Big Love
Miami Vice: “Streetwise”

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Mr. Sobell: A | Grade It Now!
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The Hapless Hooker Goes To Miami
The young tough has delivered Roxanne to a very young, very agitated Wesley Snipes, who is angry either about the turn his career has taken since To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar or that Roxanne is passing around vials of 100 percent pharmaceutical coke. My guess is it's the latter, though the former would be understandable as well. "Don't hurt me," Roxanne says. "You hurt me," Wesley snipes spits back, and it's true that no one ever considers the pimp's feelings in these sorts of confrontations. "Now I gotta worry about Carla being all jammed up, putting all my stuff out on the streets." Unfortunately for Wesley, he's too wrapped up in outlining how hard it is out there for a pimp to notice that Roxanne has produced a straight-edge razor blade. Unfortunately for Roxanne, she's not too skilled at wielding one -- she only manages to give Wesley Snipes a nick that he could probably take care off with a little torn-up piece of toilet paper. That's not going to stop him from cutting her up with a switchblade, however. No one makes Wesley Snipes bleed his own blood! Back at Vice HQ, Lt. Castillo tosses a badge down in front of...Bill Paxton? (Okay, I gotta stop being surprised every time he appears onscreen. This is, like, his third scene already.) "Nobody meant it to happen," Bill Paxton is saying about his cop-hooker romance with Carla. "We just fell in love." Castillo's less interested in Bill Paxton's love life and more interested in how his hooker friend came to be in possession of a vial of pharmaceutical cocaine; Bill Paxton reiterates that the stuff is his and he got it from an informant as part of an ongoing investigation. Castillo murmurs that he'll have to read the file, and skulks off -- give that man an Emmy! As if Bill Paxton isn't facing enough trouble right now, he finds himself alone in a room with Crockett, who wants to have a little heart-to-heart. "You're not fooling anyone," Crockett says. "My word against hers," Paxton replies. "No, it's your word against mine," Crockett says. "And I know what I saw. Your story is bogus." Bill Paxton is unmoved by Crockett's show of bravado. Maybe if he weren't wearing that turquoise blazer, he'd be a lot more intimidating. As we go to commercial, let me share the greatest TV Guide summary of an episode ever: "Miami Vice, Friday, 9 p.m., NBC: Crockett and Tubbs search for drugs." Hey! I think I saw that episode! Crockett, Tubbs, and Castillo are having a meeting of the minds, which is to say that Castillo is talking and the other two are trying to follow along. It's decided that if they are to ever find the source of this cocaine, they need to lean on Carla. Castillo also wants to hand Bill Paxton over to Internal Affairs. "He's in three violations of procedure," Castillo says, in the same tone of voice you or I would use to order a sandwich. "This officer is out of control." For a guy who was giving Bill Paxton all sorts of guff right before the commercial break, Crockett's stance has softened remarkably: "I know where this guy is at. Hell, he's so far under, he doesn't know which end is up. We've all been there. But if I can bring him back, and get him to start acting like a cop, maybe we can get what we need." This episode of "Sonny Crockett: Mentor to Troubled Peace Officers" is interrupted by a phone call from Trudy. The good news is, she's found Roxanne. The bad news is, Roxanne is no position to talk after Wesley Snipes did extension renovations on her throat with that switchblade. "Now we're down to one lead," says Tubbs, who obviously has a fast grieving process. Crockett reiterates his plea to Castillo about helping Bill Paxton help them. "Make sure you do the paperwork before you talk to him," Castillo says. "And stress that if he tries to contact the girl, I'll bust him. For interfering with an investigation." Time for one of Miami Vice's legendary paperwork montage scenes!

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Big Love

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