Big Love
Miami Vice: “Streetwise”

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Mr. Sobell: A | Grade It Now!
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The Hapless Hooker Goes To Miami
This incisive character study is interrupted by the arrival of Wesley Snipes, who pulls up in front of the Checker Club but doesn't take advantage of its "courteous and efficient valet parking staff." That's just as well, because it gives Sonny an excuse to follow Wesley Snipes into the club, and Bill Paxton an excuse not to have to listen to Sonny's bullcrap any more. Instead, that burden falls upon poor Wesley Snipes, who is just sitting around the Checker Club sipping on gin and juice with his mind on his money and his money on his mind, when Crockett sits down uninvited. "No, no, don't get up, just stay seated there, just relax, Silk," Crockett says. Well, I guess one vice that goes unprosecuted in Miami is discourtesy. But Sonny is undeterred, even if he must use his drug-dealing alter ego: "I'm Sonny Burnett." Wesley Snipes demands to know what Crockett/Burnett's business is. "Well, you see, I represent a lot of people who are asking exactly the same thing," Crockett/Burnett smarms. "They're asking, 'Who is this guy who is spreading around all this pharmaceutical rhino rinse.'" Sonny punctuates that last bit with a purse of the lips which is meant to come across as puckish but that in some cultures would mean that Wesley Snipes and Sonny were now man and wife. Wesley Snipes plays dumb, which Crockett -- being a natural -- can see right through. "You see, me and my friends, we spend a lot of hard-earned cash bringing the benefits of South America here to this community," he says. "And we generally consider it our thing." Crockett/Burnett offers to buy out Wesley Snipes's business, but Wesley Snipes, in the traditional of proud entrepreneurs everywhere, vows to go it alone. Crockett/Burnett leaves with a patronizing pat on the cheek -- the cheek on the side of the face, people -- and the trap that will eventually ensnare Wesley Snipes by the 56-minute mark has been set. As Crockett/Burnett leaves, he watches as two goons out of the Italian-American Stereotype Appreciation Society waddle up to Wesley Snipes and demand to talk about his girl Carla; Crockett/Burnett is intrigued by this turn of events, as are we all. As we go to commercial break, word comes in to recapping headquarters that Jan Hammer's distinctive Miami Vice theme song is nowhere to be found in the upcoming feature-length motion picture on Michael Mann's say-so. Oh, it is so on between you and me, Academy Award-nominated director Michael Mann. It is on.

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Big Love

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