The Home Plus float is set up in the warehouse, in front of all of the assembled employees. Bill announces the Home Plus entry into the Pioneer Day parade, which is not just the float, but about a dozen tween dancers in blue-and-white cowgirl outfits. They go into a somewhat age-inappropriate dance routine to "Stupid Cupid." Everyone watches happily, which only makes me more embarrassed for all of them. This goes on way too long, until finally Bill glances toward the back of the room and spots Joey there. He makes his way over to his brother, totally blowing off the dancers. I'm beginning to question his commitment to Sparkle Motion. All breathless with success, Joey tells Bill that they voted on the trustee -- and it's Bill. This would probably be more of a surprise to us viewers if the name of a single other candidate had ever come up. More surprising is the fact that Bill is horrified to have gotten the nod. "I've got two stores, a new business, and three wives who'd skin me alive!" Plus the commute is a bitch. They argue briefly over whether the Heavenly Father has called Bill, and Bill demands a new vote. Joey alerts Bill that Alby has declared an emergency, and has filed a missing persons report on Roman. "Everyone's worried, and it doesn't sound like Alby's folding, and now you're holding a missing person." Bill doesn't care: "As long as I have Roman stuck in a bed in my house, I'm the one who decides what the rules of this game are." They're going to revote tomorrow, he insists. Stupid Bill. I don't blame him one bit for not wanting to head the UEB, and am actually kind of impressed. But he can't see this victory for what it is, and he'll risk fucking it up entirely rather than taking it now and fixing it later. Once again, it's Bill's way or the highway. You hear that, God?

There's a vigil going on outside the big house at Juniper Creek, with Creekers thronging the front fence and burying it in flowers, photographs of Roman, and stuffed animals. It's like Buckingham Palace after Diana died, as reenacted by the cast of Little House on the Prairie. Alby comes out of the house with his wives and children to walk among his people. Some guy comes up to him to break the news that Bill's been elected Chairman of the Board. Alby looks around at the devoted crowd in front of his house and slimes, "The board should reflect the people's wishes." Sounds like Alby has a plan.