But not this one, thank God. Adaleen's in Barb's kitchen, cutting a grapefruit. Out of nowhere, she backstories to Barb, "I'm sixth wife, but I might as well be first." Hell, I thought she was first. She continues, "I'm the one that told Roman he could be bigger than a clerk. And then I walked over the backs of five timid souls." Her advice to Barb is not to hold Bill back. "Why would a wife want to keep her husband small?" she wonders. Barb astutely asks what Nicki's been saying. "That you're powerless," Adaleen says. "That you're the fearful, closeted wife of a polygamist." Barb asks why Adaleen's telling her that. Good question, but Adaleen doesn't bother to answer.
Over at Nicki's, Joey's giving Bill an update and the news isn't good. He can't get a hold of more than three UEB board members, he's having trouble even getting on the compound, and he's learned that Frank's in cahoots with Alby. Joey is even kind enough to pass on a message to Bill from Frank, which, since it includes the phrase "ground in the dirt," certainly seems authentic. Bottom line: the compound is turning against them, and they're running out of time. Bill says he's still got the ATF on his side. Joey asks how long that will take, and what he's going to do about the pet prophet he's got stashed upstairs. This latter question abruptly becomes more urgent, as Bill hears Adaleen helping Roman down the stairs. "Oh, fudge," she curses when Bill and Joey bust them. Roman claims he's going to the barber for a shave. Bill offers Roman the use of his electric razor, saying he wants Roman to stay and that they can "accommodate" him there. His words and tone are gentle enough, but neither Roman nor Adaleen misses the fact that Bill is physically blocking the door. So by "accommodate," he clearly means "imprison." From the top of the stairs, Nicki watches the scene below her. Stuck in the middle as usual.
Bill wins that round, because we next see them all upstairs, Adaleen shaving Roman with a straight razor that Bill must have picked up from the local SCA chapter. Bill offers to take over, like Roman would let Bill anywhere near his carotid artery with a sharp object, witnesses or no. Roman wants a telephone, but Bill says he's out of luck. Roman demands Bill's or Nicki's cell phone, but this discussion is tabled, because guess what? Bill's cell phone starts ringing. Heh. He leaves the room to talk, we know not to whom. As soon as he's gone, Roman fires Adaleen as his barber and orders Nicki to take over. He wants to know what's really going on, since it's clear that everyone's lying to him. "Everyone" meaning "Bill." "I only know what I've read," Nicki demurs. Roman reminds her of the condition he put on her marrying Bill. "You promised to respect my authority, remember? Bring me your cell phone. Now." Nicki's divided loyalties do battle for a moment before she finally says, "Behave yourself, Papa. We're not on the compound." Roman bares his throat for her and remarks, "You have such steady hands. If only you'd been a boy." Leaving aside the fact that Roman pretty much just dared her to kill him, think for a moment about that alternate universe. Alby wouldn't be the one running Juniper Creek right now, that's for damn sure.