Big Love
Oh, Pioneers

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Playing With The Big Kids

Well, here's a scene with him and Joey in Barb's basement to provide the answer. The two of them are whispering to keep from waking Kathy and Wanda. Joey's amazed that Roman's there in Bill's homes. Bill agrees: "It's like Halley's Comet or Skylab landed in the back yard." Except that they weren't all instantly killed on impact when they found themselves at the epicenter of a Tunguska-sized explosion. Yet. Bill says they need to hold that UEB vote on the trustee tomorrow, before Roman wakes up and reclaims power for himself. "This is our chance to get rid of the Grants forever," he says. Not including the one he's married to, presumably. Joey needs to think about this for a minute, because he's the one who's going to have to go down there and cast his and Bill's vote. Bill glances over at the mattress on the basement floor, just as Wanda snuggles up to Kathy in their sleep. Joey wants to have a little thought experiment about how different their lives would be if Roman had never taken over. "You mean if we were still living in the big house?" Bill says. What a thought. Can you imagine Bill and Joey running the place, with Creeker wives and pompadours of their own, driving their Humvees around the wrecked freezers littering the street out front? Bill thinks Roman's delivery into his hands is a sign. "I stood there looking at that old man, so helpless and frail…and I wanted to put a pillow over his face." Bill's personal brand of religion isn't always so much with the forgiveness, is it?

The next morning, Nicki enters Barb's kitchen to find her savagely curling ribbons on a cake decoration that features these adorable little covered wagons in Home Plus colors. "Can't cancel Pioneer Day," she spits. Nor can you change it to "Pioneer Howdy Days," which is what Bill called it last week. As one emailer was kind enough to point out, Pioneer Day is an actual Utah state holiday, commemorating the arrival of Brigham Young and his people in the Salt Lake Valley. "Pioneer Howdy Days," by contrast, sounds like a sale at the auto mall. I'm glad they've made the correction, given how important the holiday is going to end up being in this episode. Nicki's got more a more immediate concern, and she announces, "That Bavarian waitress is here. And not only that, she knows that we're sister-wives." Bavarian waitress? Why would you ever say that when you could say "Serbian server"?

So Margene has Barb and Nicki over at her house, facing off with them with Ana at her side for moral support. Which I'm thinking is counterproductive at the very least. Margene is trying to frame her new neighbor-baby-having wishes as a "calling." If by "calling" you mean "total inability to tell people no," then Margene is right on. Ana chimes in that she agrees with Margene. Barb can't exactly call bullshit in front of the company, so she agrees that while "it's important to be valued…one has to feel valued in proportion to the larger interest." Nicki says this is a personal conversation, and Margene asks her define "personal." Does it mean a wife and her husband, or "a wife, a wife, a wife, and their husband?" Nicki says either way, it's not for "a wife, a wife, a wife, and a new friend." Point to Nicki, especially since I thought she was going to say something a lot worse there. Margene claims to be getting tired of all the secrecy around their lives. Barb says something about discretion. "And I think our husband will have strong feelings on this matter," she adds. "His name's Bill," Margene tells Ana, who utters a soft, "Oh," as if she didn't already know that. Nicki and Barb look suspicious, because they're not the idiots Margene thinks they are. Or, arguably, the idiots that Margene is. Man, she was doing so well this season, and now she's trying to accomplish everything at once and she's just going to end up getting thumped.

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Big Love




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