Big Love
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Not tonight, honey, I have exposition

Back at the Fake Fifties place, a.k.a. Deb's, Heather and Sarah are closing up. They're chattering away and Heather tells Sarah, "When I'm 21, I want to go on a mission, and I really wish I could go to an Islamic country. Post-9/11, that part of the world needs our help most. Don't you think?" Sarah mutters, "I think the whole world needs help." I...am reliving my adolescence with these two. Heather smiles and says, "I like you, Sarah. You're thoughtful. You're not boy-crazy or screwed-up. So what about your family?" There's a long pause so we can all see Sarah thinking, "And this is where it gets screwed-up." She eventually lies, "Pretty average, I guess." Heather fishes for the church involvement, which is pretty much the first clue indicating that the Mormons are about to visit Henrickson's HomePlus. Heather then asks what youth groups Sarah's in and she explains, "I'm not really into church right now. I like their take on things -- their morals and honesty -- but...I'm just trying to find what makes sense to me." Cut to Heather straining mightily to constrain the urge to drag Sarah immediately to temple. The moment passes and they agree to hang out the next week. But then Heather casually mentions that her dad's a state trooper and Sarah stiffens. That poor kid.

In Frank and Lois's house, Barb is reading in a recliner while Frank sleeps on the couch. She looks up and notices Rhonda just standing there. Rhonda asks, "Did Sarah come too?" and Barb says gently, "No. She couldn't." Rhonda asks plaintively, "Why?" and Barb says Sarah has school. You can tell this concept is about as alien to Rhonda as the idea of marriage to a man born during the Truman administration would be to your average high school sophomore. Rhonda decides it's time to move the conversation back to a topic she can understand: "You can't have any more babies?" Barb says, "No, honey. I had cancer." And that's how we find out that six years ago, Barb had a hysterectomy. "Is that when you said Bill could marry Nicki?" Rhonda asks. Barb is obviously filtering through the dozen detail-filled responses in her head; she eventually replies, "There's a little more to it than that, sweetie." Rhonda then pulls out a wand of lip gloss, applies it, and says in a lilting voice, "I'm married to the prophet now." Barb reacts like she's been punched in the gut, and eventually gasps out, "Oh, Rhonda! No!" Sensing that she's not going to get the congratulations she thinks she should, Rhonda flounces off. Barb's left there to have a quiet panic attack over the dread prospect of her kids getting sucked into this collection of zealots.

Then Rhonda provides more backstory to Joey, who you'd think would be familiar with the story: "They used to be regular-married, but they didn't live The Principle, so God wouldn't bless her with any more babies. She had to go to the hospital then. They still couldn't fix her. I'm not going to get cancer." Ah, so that's how they brainwash the kids these days. Lois appears out of nowhere and slams down a cup of tea before whirling off. Rhonda surveys it, then pushes it toward Alby, saying sharply, "It's too hot! I want milk!" Then Rhonda turns so she can better glare at Barb and her apostate womb. Barb is still sitting, shocked, in the chair.

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Big Love

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