Big Love
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Not tonight, honey, I have exposition

Meanwhile, back at Henrickson's plus-homes, Nicki's kids are playing in the pool while she enthusiastically places a catalog order over the phone. In contrast to her bedroom appearance, she's now got her hair pulled back and she's in a prim button-down shirt and skirt. The order placed, Nicki hustles off to answer the door and the camera lingers on her wallet, which is stuffed with credit cards. Gosh, do you think she has a shopping problem? Or did she see that awful credit card commercial with the Five For Fighting song about being some age for a moment, and take that whole prepare-for-your-mortality-with-a-co-branded-Visa thing seriously? The doorbell rings again and Nicki asks her wet young son Wayne, "Oh, boy! You know who that is?" "UPS," he replies. "You're so clever!" she says affectionately.

We then see the UPS guy looking at her all, "How about a little sugar for the guy who brought all these packages?" but Nicki's blissed out on sweet, sweet multi-channel commerce. She rips open a box and excitedly shows her kids the cowboy boots. They have a seen-it-all-before look.

The whimsical music that started up during the "Nicki: Crazed Shopaholic!" sequence is still playing as Bill and his giant GMC trundle along a road. We find out he has sixteen new messages. They are from two of Barb's children: son Ben is now starting at third base ("Way to go, Benny," Bill says aloud); daughter Teeny needs some grubs because her iguana won't eat the pinkies (little baby mice).

We don't get to hear the next fourteen messages because Margene's busy having a meltdown over her pink dress not fitting right. Nicki comes in, and Margene blurts, "I wanted to wear something nice for dinner, but I'm still too fat so none of my clothes fit." Nicki's got a seen-it-all look herself. She wraps Margene in a robe, then calls for her son Wayne. He comes in carrying a new stereo system and chirps, "This is a present from Mother. Be happy, Margene!" Margene's thrilled. Nicki says airily, "You've been dying for a sound system for the house. If Bill asks, don't tell him it was from me. And we better not mention it to Boss Lady."

Bill's now worked his way through to the final message. It's from Barb, and she needs him to pick up the dry cleaning. He drives home -- with the dry cleaning -- and walks into her house. First stop -- kissing the first wife, who tells him there's ten minutes left on the meatloaf. Sarah harasses him for not going out the right door and he protests, "I made sure no one was looking." Bill heads into the kitchen, picks up Wayne, kisses wife number two, kisses wife number three and tries her potato salad, then heads out to the big family table in the back yard.

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Big Love

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