Big Love
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Not tonight, honey, I have exposition

Once all four adults and seven children are assembled, Bill prays. So one of the things about being raised Catholic is that I'm a little fascinated at how informal and of-the-moment other's prayers are, as I'm far more used to things like "recite this creed, which was formal from its get-go in 325 A.D." So indulge me as I recap the whole thing: "Our dear father in Heaven, we present ourselves unto thee to offer thanks for blessings bestowed. We offer thanks for the warm weather. Please bless us with good health and a successful store opening, and bless dear Benny with success as the third base varsity starter with the Comorrah [?] Cougars. Our trials are great. Please bless us all as your loving family, sealed together through all time and eternity. Amen." As this goes on, we see everyone go from a standing prayer to a big, noisy, yet civil family dinner.

When dinner's over, Bill's dandling one of Margene's kids and commenting on how the baby's probably got a dirty diaper. He kisses Nicki goodnight, and she says, "Don't forget." "I won't," he replies. He dances over to Barb, who makes sweet faces at the baby before kissing Bill goodnight. Bill and Sarah exchange their little gesture from the morning, then he walks off into Margene's house with her. Each of them is carrying a sleeping child. It's all so very domestic and heartwarming and weird, and thank goodness the camera soon swings back to Nicki. She clucks primly to Barb, "She's still fixated on losing those last few pounds." Barb replies equally smugly, "So superficial and immature. It's what happens. Women have babies." The meow corner breaks up long enough to smilingly wave goodnight to the cheery Margene.

In the next shot, we see she's keeping the romance alive by telling Bill how much she missed him, accompanied by an aria in pee-flat. Bill, brushing his teeth, is all, "Yeah, there's only so much of me to go around." Margene tries to get Bill to admit he misses her most, and he's all, "Officially, I miss you guys all the same." Margene reads her own unofficial meaning into that, then hits the bed at Mach-2.

And then -- hello! It's a full moon in Margene's household. The first time I watched this, I was all, "I have now seen more of Bill Paxton in the last 12 minutes than I did in the last twelve years." Then someone on the forums pointed out that Bill Paxton's fifty, and now I'm all, "Carry on!" Because honestly, if my ass looks that good when I'm fifty, I too will be looking for excuses to show it to America. The two of them then commence to getting it on -- Margene flipping over on her side and explaining that "my boobs are really sore" -- but once again, Bill is unable to follow through. Margene asks, "It's not me, is it?" Bill blames stress.

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Big Love

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