At the big family picnic, Adaleen is explaining to everyone how curry works: "Here's what you do: you get your plate you put your Uncle Ben's® on it, then you serve your chicken with curry sauce, you take your mandarins, coconut and pineapple tidbits." How exotic. And what a testament to Mary Kay Place's acting chops that you can almost hear her pronounce the ®. There's also a big jug on the buffet table labeled "Pennies for the Prophet" with a big picture of Roman on it. Now that's ballsy: the richest man on the compound, if not the county, using a family function to shake down the people whose lives he controls. One wonders if anyone at Juniper Creek knows the difference between the words "prophet" and "profit." As Nicki and Bill complete a drive-by of the buffet table, Nicki excitedly asks him where they should take their plates. "Front and center," Bill says determinedly, eyeing a spot near Roman on the front lawn. This just got a lot less fun for Nicki.
Adaleen is explaining her personal genealogy to a girl of about eight as she distributes biscuits to the multitudes from a laundry basket. "I'm 32 of 56 children, and when I married Roman, I became my own step-grandma because my father married Roman's daughter, Bayleen." Oh, that is hilarious. "Bayleen," heh.
As Bill and Nicki pull up a patch of picnic blanket next to Roman -- the only one in sight sitting in a chair instead of on the ground, I should mention -- Evie drops by to tell Nicki the news about Rhonda. "We'll have a new mother by tomorrow night," she announces. "That woman," Nicki grits, casting a dark glare back at the girl who's sitting on a blanket with her mother. "Dad's marrying down," Evie opines. But can a prophet possibly do otherwise? Meanwhile, Rhonda's mom catches her daughter smiling at a boy, and angrily demands, "Do you want to sell pine nuts by the side of the road in Mexico?" First of all, that kid is in absolutely no danger of being exiled for being too good looking. Secondly, didn't Rose's mom in Titanic have that exact same line? She urges Rhonda to go take an open spot near Roman while there's still time.
Bill pleasantly asks Roman to pass the salt. Roman does so. Pleasantly. Alby comes and sits next to Nicki. Quietly, he tells her to quit trying to suck up to Roman. "You'll never be daddy's little girl," he mocks. "No," Nicki agrees. "I'll leave that privilege to you." That's pretty much all we'll get this week of the Nicki we know and love, so enjoy it. Alby sits there thinking, Tarnation, I sure walked into that one.













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