Big Love
Big Love

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 1129 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Dealing With The Devil

Rhonda enters Roman's office and tells him that she's decided it's time. Okay, the Holy Spirit decided it's time, but she's the one breaking the news to Roman. You'd think he'd have heard already. Roman covers his legal ass by telling her to be sure this is of her own free will. "I'm not just some old rake to you?" he asks. Even that is flattering himself, I'd say. Unless he's talking about the kind someone left in the grass and then you step on it and it pops up and bashes you in the mush. Roman kisses Rhonda's hand and promises, "Angels will sing for us." It'll probably be "Ooh, That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynrd, but hey, singing is singing.

Bill drives up to his mom's cabin. Parked outside is an immense motor home that dwarfs even Bill's Gigantomobile. Bill goes inside, calling for Lois, and there are a couple of things that alert him right away that things are not as usual. The first is a brand-new leather living room set in the front room. It's a surprisingly good match, since it's all retro-1970s and everything else in the cabin is retro-1870s. The second signal is a hot blonde, fresh out of the shower with her boobs flopping all over the place. "You're not my mother," Bill observes, and thank God for that. A man's voice calls Bill's name from the back room, and Bill responds, "Eddie?" as H!ITG Brian Kerwin comes out in a robe and shoos Rae into the back to put some damn clothes on. "New wife," Eddie tells Bill, like she just came out of the bubble wrap and he hasn't gotten around to programming her modesty parameters yet. "Got two at home," he adds, so we know he's "in." The two men embrace, and eventually we're going to learn that Eddie is Bill's uncle, but I'm just telling you now so you aren't distracted by trying to figure out their relationship throughout this scene like I was. Eddie says he's been staying with Lois for about a week. He talks about having sold some big properties, and now he's trying out his new motor home. He also picked up "a few things" for Lois, which explains the new living room set. Bill jokes that Eddie's too young to be an idle old rich man. Anyone else forming a new theory as to where Bill got his start-up money for the stores?

Just then Lois comes in the back door with a dozen cans of peas, going on about double-load dryers and rolling quarters and not going back to "Whoreville." Since she came in the back, she didn't see Bill's truck, and now she's quite surprised to see Bill, especially given the way she was shooting off her mouth when she came in. If Bill's alarms weren't already going off, the fact that Lois greets him more cheerfully than she ever has in his life seals it. Quickly decoding Lois's chatter on the way in, Bill figures out that Lois owns a Laundromat now. Which explains why she was calling from one last week, although it doesn't explain why she was being so secretive about it. Even Eddie's surprised that Bill didn't know about it. Lois manages to turn her busted-itude into a guilt trip, telling Bill not to worry about it. "You've got your own life, elsewhere." Bill doesn't want to let it drop, flatly accusing Lois of lying to him. "Don't embarrass me in front of my brother," Lois snaps, saying she has to bring in some money somehow. Even if nine percent of her gross goes to Coinstar. As Eddie's wife Rae comes in, now properly covered, Lois smacks her on the ass as she goes by. Weird. Bill then takes Lois to task for letting Wanda "wander around here unsupervised." Lois tells Bill to back off, claiming she doesn't sleep nights for worry over Joey. And then she tells Rae to keep her wet head off the leather furniture. "These mine?" she asks Eddie, holding up a couple of pea cans. As she puts them in her cupboard, Eddie and Bill shrug at each other. Dudes, I don't know what's going on with the canned peas either.

Big Love

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