Big Love
Roberta's Funeral

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Sobell: B- | Grade It Now!
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Death Be Not Proud...

Lois watches them go, contempt radiating from every pore. Frank smiles and says tartly, "Yes, my darling?" Lois tells him to cut the crap, then she cuts to the chase: Frank had promised long ago to make Lois his first wife -- the nice 'n' legal one -- should Roberta die. Now that Roberta has shuffled off this mortal coil, Lois wants Frank to make good on his promise. She hammers home, "It's right, it's proper, it's what's due me, and I want it." All three of Frank's beaten-down other wives look alarmed. Ah, serves 'em right for eavesdropping. Lois rolls her eyes at them, then sweetly adds, "Please." She pushes her case by sitting down and patting his hand, telling him, "It's a piece of paper. Half an hour at the county clerk's office to make me legal." Frank puts his arm around her. He leans in, tenderly regarding her for a moment. Happiness transforms his face as he utters, "I don't think so. Not if you were to put a gun to my head." Then he snarls, "And knowing you as well as I do, I consider that a very distinct possibility." Lois stalks off, her wine-red skirt fluttering in her wake.

Bill is at his office. He peruses what appears to be the case file against Roman, then calls up the prophet. Bill tells him, "I'd like to sit down with you and see if we can't reach an agreement. Enough's enough. Tomorrow."

We then transition to Barb's driveway. Benny's playing street hockey, and Bill stops him long enough to congratulate him on a nice shot, then tell him, "I'm going to be gone overnight. Keep an eye on things for me." We find out that Bill's heading back to Juniper Creek for Roberta's funeral. Ben says, "Mom says you weren't going," and Bill replies wearily, "I thought twice and changed my mind." I'm surprised Nicki's not clinging to his shins, begging to go. You can't expect her to miss the first of her mothers-in-law's funerals, can you? Bill explains that Roberta was good to him while he was growing up, then charges Benny, "Act in my place. You're the man of the house." With Bill gone, Ben may be the most senior householder with a Y-chromosome, but I would bet dollars to doughnuts the minute he tries that man-of-the-house business on Barb, she grounds him for a week. Or she should. Anyway, right as Bill heads out, he asks Ben to check on Margene's disposal. Yes -- her disposal is exactly what Ben yearns to explore.

Zoom up to Nicki's room, where she's got Raymond making the bed with her by singing a song with him set to "Michael, row the boat ashore." Raymond looks like he's enjoying this. Barb comes in and says hi to Nicki and Raymond, and from the bathroom, Wayne yells, "I'm here too!" The boys are sent to go visit with Teeny while Barb tries to negotiate a new schedule with Nicki. Barb's bright idea: "I thought you could look at your calendar and give me an estimate of your cycle." This way, they can schedule Bill for the nights Nicki's likely to be ovulating. Nicki asks her, "Why don't we just do it like we used to: keep to the schedule and give him to me on an additional basis?" Barb pushes for the wonders of regimented time, and Nicki hems and haws about how she'd rather have Bill come home the minute her basal temperature jumps. Barb protests, "Yes, but you only ovulate two days a month." Nicki says, "You're so persistent." Barb twigs to the subtext and promptly apologizes, adding, "I guess I'm in organizational overdrive today." As the two of them pull up Nicki's comforter, Nicki notes, "You do that when Bill goes away." The two of them then have this subtext-loaded conversation:

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Big Love

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