Big Love
Big Love

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 1366 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Mother-Out-Law

Upstairs, Nicki plays back a message on her hallway answering machine. It's Roman, saying he was glad to get her message and touched that she "assumed the burden of keeping the peace." He says he did what he thought was right, so that Nicki could live out in the open. "But the way you choose to run your family is your business. However, were I to find out that you were involved in poor Rhonda's flight into the world of sin, that you knew where the poor girl was and chose not to assist her to return, I would not hesitate to unburden you and make my holy actions known to Bill." So Rhonda's blackmailing her one way, and Roman's blackmailing her the other. Hence the episode title. Nicki swallows hard and gets on with the laundry, unaware that Margene heard at least part of the message while she was rummaging around for candles downstairs. Doesn't anyone on TV have voice mail?

And then Roman's live on the line with Bill, who asks if he's being taped now. "I don't know what you're talking about, Bill," Roman says, making sure the recorder on his desk is taping the call. I'm not sure who called whom here, not that it matters at this point. Bill says that if Roman turns the state on him, he'll return the favor, "by giving them a certain little underage girl." Roman's eyes widen and he lunges for the recorder's stop button before asking where Rhonda is. Bill tells Roman to testify on the Henricksons' behalf that Alby is off his rocker (which isn't even really perjury) and that Joey acted in self-defense. I don't know how you poison someone in self-defense, but that's just about the least of the legal unlikelihoods we're being asked to swallow this week. Roman starts to mount his high horse, which he really needs to figure out soon doesn't work on Bill the way it does everyone else. Bill flatly says, "You know what I need. I know what you need." And then Bill hangs up. Roman turns to officers Lyle and Thomas, who have been sitting in his office, and tells them, "Find my son and tell him all is forgiven." Good luck with that, guys, considering you couldn't even find Rhonda when you were at the right house.

Bill's Uncle Eddie has joined the Henricksons for an al fresco dinner in their back yard, and he's telling them a story about Bill's sixteenth birthday. It's not exactly a warm Norman Rockwell memory, since it involves them stealing a cake off a bakery pallet and the loss of Bill's pants. "I told you I'd get you a cake for your sixteenth birthday and I did," Eddie concludes. So it sounds like Bill and Eddie spent some time on the streets together, which is going to force me to come up with a whole new theory as to how both of them ended up so well off. Bill is clearly uncomfortable with this story being told at his dinner table, but he plays along politely enough. "This is the bad boy I rescued from the streets," Barb boasts. Oh, Barb, shut up. First of all, nobody's going to say, "Oh Barb, that's so you, rescuing people all the time." Secondly, Rhonda's not Bill. Thirdly, shut up again, unless you want to explain why the pool fence is suddenly back in place this week.

Big Love

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