Big Love
Rock And A Hard Place

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Mother-Out-Law

The cops find three busy women in the kitchen. Nicki greets both of them by their first names, Lyle and Thomas, and pleasantly asks what brings them there. Thomas says they're looking for Rhonda Volmer. "Hateful, spoiled child," Nicki says, pretty convincingly. Lyle gets right up next to Nicki and glares at her. Nicki refuses to be intimidated. She just offers him some carrot raisin salad. Lyle responds by spitting in the mixing bowl. Okay, that doesn't sound very tasty to me either, but there's a nicer way to decline. "Apostate," Lyle accuses Nicki. Thomas adds, "Everybody knows why you took her, Nicki." Could someone tell me then? Bill comes into the kitchen just as Nicki is telling the cops to get out. The cops move on with their search.

As Thomas reaches the back yard, Bill tells Margene to show the younger officer into her house. Margene does so. This is the best opportunity Bill's going to have to get Rhonda out of there. After quietly ascertaining that she's still hidden under the tarp, he watches Lyle move into Nicki's house. Now that the cooking charade is over, the wives stand on the back porch, Nicki and Barb quietly sniping at each other over whose fault this is, while Bill makes urgent facial expressions at Don. Not being experienced in sneaking humans out from under police officers, Don freezes up, so Ben has to be the one to lead Rhonda at a run out through Barb's house. Meanwhile, Nicki is trying to work on Barb to get Rhonda out of there on a more permanent basis. After a while, Don drives off in his pickup truck, with Rhonda hidden under a tarp in the back. Except she peeks up out from under it, just as the cops are returning to their car. Lucky for her they didn't happen to look up right then. Perhaps the search warrant should have been served by officers who are capable of actually searching.

Later, Sarah's at work at the diner with Heather, who's treating her to a Fast Food Nation monologue as she schleps a bin of chicken out of the freezer. Sarah asks Heather to come to the movies with her that night. At first I think it's so they can be someplace where there's no talking so that Heather will stop grossing Sarah out with all this disturbing blather about slaughterhouses. But Sarah's real motive is to have an excuse to go out with Scott -- who we learn works a call-in radio show on a station owned by the church -- without it being a date. Heather drops half a bun on the floor and five-second-rules it right back on the counter. Sarah doesn't protest, but Heather has her doubts about Sarah's plan when she finds out that Scott is 28. She says, "He's not going to be like, 'That was a great movie, now why don't you two girls kiss and I'll take pictures?'" Which, by the way, would make him as a god among Veronica Mars slash-fic fans. Sarah leans on Heather until she agrees to go.

Bill's lawyer Lee is making a house call, which can't be good. Bill's got his hands full with little Lester as Lee says that the Meeker County DA wants Bill at Joey's hearing. "They have evidence of your involvement in a cover-up," he explains calmly. Bill does a pretty good job of acting like he doesn't know what evidence they could possibly be talking about. It would be more convincing if he also pretended not to know what cover-up he's talking about, but he's not exactly a pro at this. Their talk gets interrupted when Wayne and Raymond come running in, asking for Bill's help in fixing the exact same toy fire engine my son has. Which, since he has about eight of them, isn't hard. After they leave, Bill assures Lee that there's no evidence. "Then we don't have a problem," Lee says, stone-faced. He doesn't point out that Bill's not denying his participation in any cover-ups, but only the existence of any evidence thereof. Although you can tell that's what he's thinking. Bill suggests postponing the meeting, but Lee says that will just result in the invitation turning into a subpoena. "We're talking criminal charges here," Lee says. "Felonies. Prison." Bill has been looking rather disheveled all morning, but now he starts to look kind of hunted as well.

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Big Love

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