The reception dinner is going on under a big white tent that looks like it was docked to the house's huge back porch. Great idea in case of rain, which is why it's almost kind of a shame that it's a beautiful day outside. Nancy has stuck Barb and her kids at a table with Cindy and hers, and they're all sitting there eating silently while "I Don't Know How To Love Him" from Jesus Christ, Superstar, of all things, plays in the background. It's a measure of my ignorance that I don't know whether the tune is a touch of verisimilitude or David Byrne is just fucking with us again. "I hope this table's having a lovely time," Nancy says as she swans over with Ned at her elbow. Actually, I exaggerate; he's not that much shorter than she is. She starts talking to Ben about his interest in the Air Force Academy, and mentions that Ned's a retired colonel. It seems like a nice, safe topic, but Ben says he isn't so sure about it now. "It's not something to be ambivalent about!" Ned barks. Apparently, all those years hanging around jet engines have damaged his hearing. Nancy's on thinner ice when she asks about Ben's romantic life, and Ben grins, "Yeah, twins." Barb looks pained, Nancy glares at Barb, and Cindy just gives an evil little laugh. Barb tries to change the subject to her niece Jennifer's recent joining of the drill team, like that'll keep the conversation afloat for more than ten seconds, but nasty horrible Cindy would rather make Ben talk about his twin girlfriends some more than let her own daughter talk about what's going on in her life. Ben is happy to oblige: "They want to marry the same guy, so they're happy. Ow!" This last as Barb does something to him under the table. Nancy says he's being "intentionally provocative," (which, no shit, but so is Cindy) and Ben coldly responds, "I think the government should allow us to practice our religion openly." Ned puts a cap on the discussion: "You can serve your country and serve your God. I guess in your case, you can't do both." Maybe not, but at least Ben has an inside voice. Out of nowhere, Jennifer tells Barb they're glad to have her back and asks if she's going to be rebaptized. Off Barb's confused expression, Nancy imperiously explains to Barb, "I've told everyone that you've left Bill and are returning to the church." And then the two of them duck into what looks like Ned's den (hey, a palindrome!) to have it out.
Episode Report CardM. Giant: A- | 1109 USERS: B-
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