Sarah's over at Scott's, and while he's in the shower, she has intercepted a text message on his cell phone: "That was great! xo L." Sarah hollers, "Who is 'L'? What was 'great'?" Scott comes out of the bathroom with wet hair and no shirt, sheepishly saying, "It's my ex-girlfriend." The words aren't even out before Sarah hurls the phone at his bird-chest, which is already so concave I'm surprised it doesn't lodge there. "We're just friends," he says. So she again asks what was great. Well, that would be the sex, of course. Scott's all, "We never said we were exclusive," which is not something you say after you get busted. Scott asks if he's supposed to be celibate. Sarah says he should be honest. Scott's like, okay, sure, why not give that a shot, and says he thinks he should see other women. It's that plural part that gets to Sarah. Scott says he cares about her, but he "can't take this responsibility," by which he means her virginity. He doesn't want to pressure her, but he can't live like a monk, either. How about not dating Sarah, then? Just a thought. Sarah says she gets it, and holds herself together as she asks, "What's her name?" Scott's answer: "I'm sorry." Better not ever accidentally call Sarah that in bed, Scott.
Bill's in his office with Ben and a little mock-up of the Home Plus float for something called the "Pioneer Howdy Days" parade. Please let that be made-up...okay, Google's got nothing. Whew. Bill talks about how all the floats of the local businesses have Joseph Smith in the middle of them, "but there's no sign of his thirty-four wives." As they sit down to lunch together, Bill says he just gets tired of all the hypocrisy. You know, now that he's Mister Open. Speaking of which, he tells Ben about introducing Margene and Barb as his wives at the convention. This would be a bigger moment if Bill didn't have to sneak a glance at the open office door before sharing this. Leslie pops in with one last message: Alby called about the valuation of a UEB board seat. Ben's surprised that Bill is going to give up the seat, and Bill assures him he isn't: "It's just a negotiation tactic." How far afield has Bill gone if I'm finding myself irritated with him for trying to screw over Alby? Speaking of hypocrisy. Flush with this fresh demonstration of his manipulative skills, Bill picks up his cell phone to call Barb at home and tell her to invite some Weber Gaming people over for the "after-parade" party at their house next week. Unloading groceries in her kitchen, Barb wants no part of that. Bill's high-handed enough to make sure Barb keeps the conversation short. Of course Margene, who's helping, says she's happy to call Larry herself. "We're having dinner this week anyway," she says offhandedly. By which she means herself, Bill, Larry, and Larry's girlfriend. So clearly Bill at least seems fine with making Margene Mrs. Weber Gaming, even if Barb never really agreed to it. "You should come," Margene chirps on her way out, knowing full well that Barb won't. Barb's doorbell rings, which, of course, always bodes well.