Big Love
Take Me As I Am

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Daughter Of Bridezilla

Bill meets Alby out in the woods somewhere, which is, like, the worst idea ever. Might as well just shoot himself in the head and get it over with. They're on some back road, with Bill next to his parked Gigantomobile while Alby sits in his red Humvee, making Bill stand in the road and talk to him through the open window. Bill and his MiB sunglasses are trying to strike a conciliatory note, and Alby wonders why Bill might think he's still upset. "Because Wanda tried to murder me? Because you and your brother covered it up? Because you humiliated me in front of my father?" Well, if you're going to hold a grudge. Bill brings up Weber Gaming, which he knows Alby knows about, and says that he's ready to offer Alby something more valuable: "I'll sell you my seat on the UEB." Alby wonders why Bill would give that up, and Bill non-answers that Alby needs it more than he does: "You can't have the power without a seat at the table. And you can't vote Roman's until he passes. It could be months...or years." Alby has to act intrigued, because he can't exactly point out that he and his creepy wife are conspiring to make it more like days...or hours. So here's how he signals that he's thinking about it: he rolls up his window. Bill stands out there for a few seconds before tapping on the glass in irritation. When Alby opens the window again, he says he doesn't share Roman's fascination with Bill. Staying on message, Bill says, "Without a voting seat on the UEB, you're just a pretender." Alby coldly says he'll take it under advisement.

Sarah's over at Scott's, and while he's in the shower, she has intercepted a text message on his cell phone: "That was great! xo L." Sarah hollers, "Who is 'L'? What was 'great'?" Scott comes out of the bathroom with wet hair and no shirt, sheepishly saying, "It's my ex-girlfriend." The words aren't even out before Sarah hurls the phone at his bird-chest, which is already so concave I'm surprised it doesn't lodge there. "We're just friends," he says. So she again asks what was great. Well, that would be the sex, of course. Scott's all, "We never said we were exclusive," which is not something you say after you get busted. Scott asks if he's supposed to be celibate. Sarah says he should be honest. Scott's like, okay, sure, why not give that a shot, and says he thinks he should see other women. It's that plural part that gets to Sarah. Scott says he cares about her, but he "can't take this responsibility," by which he means her virginity. He doesn't want to pressure her, but he can't live like a monk, either. How about not dating Sarah, then? Just a thought. Sarah says she gets it, and holds herself together as she asks, "What's her name?" Scott's answer: "I'm sorry." Better not ever accidentally call Sarah that in bed, Scott.

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Big Love

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