Big Love
Take Me As I Am

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Daughter Of Bridezilla

Bill's in his office with Ben and a little mock-up of the Home Plus float for something called the "Pioneer Howdy Days" parade. Please let that be made-up...okay, Google's got nothing. Whew. Bill talks about how all the floats of the local businesses have Joseph Smith in the middle of them, "but there's no sign of his thirty-four wives." As they sit down to lunch together, Bill says he just gets tired of all the hypocrisy. You know, now that he's Mister Open. Speaking of which, he tells Ben about introducing Margene and Barb as his wives at the convention. This would be a bigger moment if Bill didn't have to sneak a glance at the open office door before sharing this. Leslie pops in with one last message: Alby called about the valuation of a UEB board seat. Ben's surprised that Bill is going to give up the seat, and Bill assures him he isn't: "It's just a negotiation tactic." How far afield has Bill gone if I'm finding myself irritated with him for trying to screw over Alby? Speaking of hypocrisy. Flush with this fresh demonstration of his manipulative skills, Bill picks up his cell phone to call Barb at home and tell her to invite some Weber Gaming people over for the "after-parade" party at their house next week. Unloading groceries in her kitchen, Barb wants no part of that. Bill's high-handed enough to make sure Barb keeps the conversation short. Of course Margene, who's helping, says she's happy to call Larry herself. "We're having dinner this week anyway," she says offhandedly. By which she means herself, Bill, Larry, and Larry's girlfriend. So clearly Bill at least seems fine with making Margene Mrs. Weber Gaming, even if Barb never really agreed to it. "You should come," Margene chirps on her way out, knowing full well that Barb won't. Barb's doorbell rings, which, of course, always bodes well.

It's Pam from across the street, and she's come over to ask Barb her opinions on surrogate motherhood. Barb's about three words into her noncommittal answer before Pam agrees, "What could be wrong with it?" Sounds like she's come around on the issue, after seeming all offended when Margene first told her weeks ago. Barb mentions that surrogate mothers aren't easy to find, because she doesn't know that Margene gave that cover story to Pam. Pam's like, duh, what about Margene? And Barb is like, duh, indeed, and Pam's kind of shocked to realize that Barb didn't know. "I mean, there's only a handful of them in the state, and it's hard not to think that living right across the street isn't a sign or something, don't you think?" Pam gushes. Barb snaps herself out of her current Margene-murdering fantasy -- I bet they're pretty finely tuned by this point -- to find herself having an actual conversation with her neighbor from across the street about her husband Carl's sperm. Pam says they talked about adoption, "they" including God in this case, but Pam got outvoted. "And Carl is concerned, if I don't have his children, where will his spirits go? To an atheist or a meth addict?" This is only the first of several occasions where this episode lets us know that it's not only people on the compound who hold some religious beliefs that might seem unusual to outsiders. Just wait until later. But we've already moved on from religion to money, as Pam drops the figure of $50,000 dollars. "Don't rush into anything yet," Barb says, to Pam's confusion. She's not the only one who's confused. Why is Pam talking to Barb about this instead of to Margene? Does she think Barb is Margene's agent or something? Not that Barb wouldn't be kind of awesome at that job. In fact, I think I just decided on my dream arc for Season Three. Free Margene and Barb!

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Big Love

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