Big Love
Take Me As I Am

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Daughter Of Bridezilla

And then she's in Ben's room, packing his suitcase while telling her mom on the phone, "You can take him." She claims that Bill agreed to it and everything, which, in these houses, is rapidly turning into what "it slipped my mind" really means. It sounds like Nancy is going to say something else to Barb. But the pause stretches out so long that for a second I wonder if the call hasn't dropped. Finally she just tells Barb to make sure Ben has sweaters. "The evenings can get chilly." I'll bet. With Nancy around, I suspect it's also chilly in the mornings, the nights, twilight, the afternoons, noon, and eclipses.

Shot of Bill's Gigantomobile driving down the road that night, and then he's at Scott's apartment, glowering around at everything and dourly admiring Scott's flatscreen, saying he's considering getting one. "I understand you've been playing the field while you're dating Sarah," he adds in the same tone of voice. Scott sighs and asks who told him that. "My wife," Bill says. "Which one?" Scott asks pointedly, like that's a burn that Bill's never heard before. Bill is more irritated than fazed: "Yes, I have three wives. And I'm committed to all of them. And you fooling around with girls on the side is not the same thing and you know it." Scott asks what Bill wants for Sarah, and he says he wants her to have a "good, healthy, committed relationship." A polygamist one? asks Scott. Maybe, says Bill. "You have no idea how unhappy you make her," Scott says. Bill still refuses to go on the defensive. He tells Scott he liked him, "But if you're not gonna treat my daughter with the respect she deserves, then I don't want you around her." Bill leaves, refraining from popping Scott one, or even clipping his shoulder as he walks past. I guess he figures the enforced awkward was punishment enough. At least for now.

Lois comes into Joey's cabin, calling around and finding nothing but the vacuum cleaner still running and the bird eating from a pile of birdseed in the middle of the floor. It's like an episode of The Odd Couple without humans. Lois shoos the bird away and shuts off the vacuum cleaner, and when she straightens up she is quite startled to find Alby standing behind her. Man, he's like Mr. Roarke in reverse with that shit all the time. She asks what he's done with them. "What's troubling you, Sister Lois?" Alby asks all father-like, but Lois yells at him, "Tell me where they are!" Alby unconvincingly acts surprised to hear they're gone. "I know what you really are," Lois threatens. "Remember that." Does she? Interesting. But it doesn't seem like such a bright idea to give him a reason to silence her. Alby steps closer, assuring her that he would never harm Joey or his family. "But even if I did, you'd never find the bodies." Think you're creeped out now? Suddenly his hand darts toward her face, which contorts in panic. But he only wanted to play "Got Your Nose." Now that's creepy. Lois allows herself to breathe again. Which she might not be able to next time, if he escalates things to "Pull My Finger."

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Big Love

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