Big Love
The Baptism

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My Sister, My Enemy

Lois cools down enough to ask Bill what he's up to, and he basically tells her he wants a mole on the UEB council. Lois actually approves, and eventually begins perusing the list.

Back at Henricksons' homes plus, the phone rings and Teeny dives for it. It turns out to be someone named "Aunt Cindy," and at that news, Barb's shoulders automatically ratchet up around her ears from the tension. As Teeny goes to fetch Barb, Barb whispers, "Tell her I'm outside! Tell her I'm outside!" Teeny ignores this, so Barb resignedly begins talking to her sister. Cindy's in town for a conference, and is evidently very windy, so all Barb has to do is crunch ice as a stress-relieving move and just say "uh-huh" every once in a while. By the time she's hung up, both of her sister-wives are hanging out in the dining room and she's agreed to meet Cindy.

Of course, Barb tells her co-wives that she was actually on the phone setting up a student-teacher conference. I don't get why she'd lie about Cindy calling. Is this just a practice lie, so she's in varsity lying shape when the need arises? Anyway, it's meeting time, or as I like to call it, "Exhibit B" in the argument against becoming a polygamist's bride at a young age:

BARB: Okay! Number one: [pauses to smile with smug radiance] Teeny's baptism is Saturday.
NICKI: We need to clean the pool.
BARB: Benny will do that. And we need Bill's white shoes and pants and nice white shirt starched and pressed.
MARGENE: [gently snoring]
NICKI: Margie? Would you like to run with that? Washing and readying Bill's whites?
MARGENE: [gives disinterested stare, dismissive hand wave] Sure.
BARB: We need to go grocery shopping for the party --
MARGENE: There's a party? What kind of party?
BARB: It's like a birthday party, but it's a baptism reception. [turns to Nicki] Do you mind?
NICKI: [doubtlessly seething over having to do Barb's shopping again] Just make out a list.
BARB: Most important of all… [pauses to smile with pious radiance] I want to get [Teeny] her own Bible as a gift. Would you care to do that, Margene?
MARGENE: [mentally returning from a land where happy puppies frolic at the feet of telenovela stars] Is that all? I have things to do.

Barb and Nicki commiserate over Margene's baffling inability to feel "included" after they dump the labor-intensive laundry chores on her and ask the one relative agnostic spouse in the family to select an appropriate Bible for a gift.

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Big Love

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