Big Love
The Baptism

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My Sister, My Enemy

Speaking of effed-up relationships, here's Ben giving Brynne a pretty little stash box he found the time to make in wood shop between raging erections. Brynne is very delighted, and gropes her thanks. Ben's flustered -- "What are you doing? Stop it -- stop it!" Brynne snaps that they've had eight whole "real go-out dates" plus school, plus rides back and forth to school for a few months, so when is Ben going to let her in his pants? Well, gosh, I can see how frustrated she is, what with there having been eight "real go-out dates." In some cultures, they'd be married already. She presses, "I'm ready and so are you." Instead of snapping, "I'm not ready, and you're presumptuous," poor Ben asks, "Seriously. Why can't we just wait?" Brynne snots, "Do you know what it feels like to have a guy say no to that?' and Benny does NOT reply, "Do you know what it feels like to have someone constantly dogging you to do something you're not ready for?" Then she breaks up with him: "You need to date somebody who wants what you want." I'll say this for her: she's right. Unfortunately, Ben doesn't want "right." The scene ends with her saying sadly, "It'll be all right. We can still be friends, okay?"

That's when some very pretty background music comes up -- low piano keys and some very restrained strings -- and we move from the disappointed Ben to Margene, who is horrified to discover what hot wax + clothes dryer do to white clothing.

Cut to her on Pam's doorstep, hyperventilating, "Disaster. Serious disaster." Pam immediately replies, "Material, personal or hygienic?" HA! I love Pam. How awesome it is that she has categories for emergencies? Margene blurts out, "Crayons in the dryer!" and Pam rattles off, "Goo-B-Gone, aisle six, Field's." That is some serious Shao Lin shopping technique right there, and her cleaning-fu is masterly as well. Pam then comes out for a good gossip with Margie: she's figured out that Nicki's a polygamist. "They're like cockroaches…I don't mean that in a harsh way, I mean that they come in and hide. They're secretive probably because of the shame of it all." Or because they really don't feel like having people call them cockroaches to their -- oh. Wait. That doesn't work at all. Pam off-handedly mentions that she's going to mention Nicki to the neighborhood crime watch, then goes back to expounding on polygamists: "They can be ruthless -- kidnapping and all kinds of unspeakable things when they fight with each other."

And going from the commotion at Wanda's childbirth bed, they can be pretty stressful even when taking a time-out from the fighting to attend a good ol'-fashioned home birth. And look! Here are Lois and Bill, coming to add to the festive atmosphere. As Wanda wails away, a couple dozen people are just kind of milling around. Lois asks excitedly, "Did we miss it?" and Adaleen says, "Oh, no -- only eight hours in and no sign of the bundle of joy." Having established that she's in no immediate danger of being upstaged by an infant, Lois announces that she brought gifts, then shouts back, "Wanda! I brought you a pot!" Wanda, who is thrashing around on the bed, only shrieks in reply.

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Big Love

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