Big Love
The Happiest Girl

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
My So-Called Wife

Speaking of people having to change rooms, Roman's being delivered into his own bed at home, and he's not happy about it as the EMTs transfer him from a gurney. From his reaction, you'd think he's about to pop a stitch or throw a spleen at any moment. Alby tells his wife to go fetch Morphine, Vicodin, and Valium, which I guess she can do because she's a nurse and Juniper Creek probably has its own clinic anyway. "What are you doing to me?" Roman moans in pain and confusion. As if in answer, Mrs. Alby #1 quietly tells Alby, "There are other painkillers. And sedatives." She doesn't say so out loud, but by "other" it's plain she means "deadlier." Alby tells her to bring the lot. The Juniper Creek rent-a-cop named Lyle comes in and tells Alby that Frank wants to see him. For some unknown reason, Alby nods in agreement. Alby's father won't be happy to learn that he just got bumped down the priority list by Bill's.

Adaleen comes up to the bedroom door where the other Juniper Creek cop we know, Thomas, is standing guard. He's got instructions not to let anyone in. And that includes Adaleen. Think she's regretting having helped put Alby in charge yet?

Nicki's busy decorating the Henrickson backyard for the party while on the phone to Margene. Margie's calling her from the hotel gift shop, except it looks like Margene bought herself a box of Fiddle Faddle instead of that scarf she had her eye on for Barb. Maybe in her current mood she didn't trust herself to get Barb a gift that's quite so…strangle-y. Margene vents down the line at Nicki, who at least looks a bit guilty at having to put the phone down in mid-tirade so she can have both hands free. And then she tells Margene she has to go answer the door, leaving her hanging. Hell, might as well have Margene be pissed at everyone, right?

Frank's in the UEB office with Alby. I'm not calling it Alby's office. Still, Alby's sitting in the big chair behind the big desk while Frank prepares for his pitch by kissing Alby's ass for a while. Alby quietly eats up Frank's flattery, which leads up to Frank's offer to help warn him of "dangers." Alby wonders what Frank's talking about. Frank is talking about his own sons: "Bill trying to appoint a trustee! Joey's nutty wife trying to poison you!" He's offering to spy on them for Alby. What Alby is too dim to realize is that this requires the boys to tolerate Frank on any level, so he seems intrigued. Frank names what he wants in return, or rather, who: Kathy Marquart. Yes, that's correct: he's pissed off that Lois is suing for what's rightfully hers, so he's exacting revenge by selling out to Alby in order to screw over the son who had the least to do with it. What a scumbag. But as Alby smirks approvingly at Frank's retreating back, we see that Frank is clearly Alby's kind of scumbag. I suppose it must be nice to know there's always a bigger prick than you.

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Big Love

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