Big Love
The Happiest Girl

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
My So-Called Wife

Cut to a few minutes later, with Ben and Nicki in Barb's kitchen. Nicki demonstrates that she's perfectly capable and willing to tear Ben a new one even when Barb isn't in the room. Which is why it's a bit weird that Barb actually is in the room. Ben says he just wanted to try to talk to Brynn, but she refused. "You made sure of that," he snaps at Barb. "Don't you sass us," Nicki warns before Barb can say a word, let alone pop Ben in the chops. Ben says he might want to live the Principle, and accuses Barb of letting her own self-loathing get in the way of that. Funny, that's not what he told Brynn. Nicki grabs Ben by the ear, causing him to protest, "You're not my mother!" Nicki makes the excellent point that Ben doesn't get to pick and choose which parts of the Principle he likes: "Plural wives and plural mommies," she reminds him. Barb finally gets tired of watching her son get disciplined by her sister-wife, and sends Ben to his room. He goes, Nicki yelling after him the whole way. And then Nicki starts in on Barb for letting Ben talk to her like that. Barb, still kind of beaten down after last week's humiliating defeat, tells her to give it a rest. Hey, maybe elimination-based reality shows could learn something from this subplot; instead of kicking people off when they lose a vote, Big Brother or Survivor could just make them chill the fuck out.

And then we skip almost the rest of that entire day, which is probably why this episode comes in at under sixty minutes for once. That night, at after-dinner coffee with the adults (minus Sarah) in the backyard, Bill gives Barb some materials for the convention he's attending the next day: "The Bar Owners Trade Association Convention at the Wendover Elite Hotel & Casino." As Margene moons enviously over the description of the hotel's spa in the brochure, Barb seems the opposite of excited. Bill exposits that he needs to meet-and-greet the Weber Gaming clientele as the company's new owner, and he wants Barb to come along. Barb says she's still not down with pretending to be a normal couple anymore, and Bill's like, who said anything about pretending? Barb's not any more excited about not pretending not to be polygamists, either, though. Damn, Bill just can't win with her, can he? It's almost as if she wanted to stay Bill's one and only wife all along. Barb says that if they're going to step out in the open, maybe Bill should just take Nicki instead. Bill doesn't exactly leap on the idea, and Nicki disqualifies herself before she can get rejected. She's clearly hurt by Bill's reaction, though. "Look, there's a manicure/pedicure special!" Margene says into the awkward silence. Bill belatedly recovers from Barb's Nicki-bomb and says that he wants Barb along to show that she's on board with Weber Gaming. "And what if I'm not ready?" Barb asks. "Then I'm disappointed," Bill grumps. Barb says that makes two of them, and goes inside. Bill heads over to Margene's house without a word to his other two wives. No sooner are Nicki and Margene alone than Nicki complains to Margene that Bill's embarrassed about her. Well, Nicki, maybe Bill would feel differently if he knew you were rich now. Then Nicki gets up and leaves too, leaving Margene alone at the table with the brochure for a hotel that she'll either never get to go to, or will wish she hadn't. I'm not saying yet which one it's going to be.

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Big Love

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