Big Love
The Happiest Girl

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
My So-Called Wife

Bill and Margene are leaving the convention floor, the latter all aglow from her triumph there. Bill's happy to see her so happy, and she's just about to hit the hotel gift shop to pick up a scarf for Barb and a paperweight for Nicki when they're suddenly hailed by a couple Bill knows. It's a couple of old (but new to us) friends, Dick and Meredith Paulson, who have already heard that Bill was there with his wife, and that he bought Weber Gaming. Just by coincidence, they happen to have bought a chain of sports bars a few years ago, so they have business to discuss. They ask where Barb is, and actually mistake Margene for Sarah. Clearly it's been a while. Margene corrects them on her name, looking a bit off-balance but not fully getting what's going down. "My secretary," Bill says. And now Margene gets what's going down, because what's going down is Margene. Hard.

Shortly thereafter, Bill's up in the Honeymoon Suite, on the phone to Barb. Margene is in the bathroom, soaking in the heart-shaped tub, which may well have been filled by her tears judging by how hard she's crying. Barb and Bill backstory that they haven't seen the Paulsons in six years, but now that they've turned up, they're potentially a huge client for Weber Gaming. Which means Bill wants Barb to come and play the wife. Hearing the loud sobbing in the background, Barb asks if everything is okay. Bill assures her it is, aside from Margene being, in Bill's words, "a bit blue." Dude, she's past "a bit blue" and all the way over into ultraviolet. Of course Barb can't resist any chance to come to the rescue, but before she'll agree to come, she wants to make Bill squirm. She reminds him that the whole point of Weber Gaming was so they wouldn't have to lie anymore, and now he's asking her to cross state lines to do just that. Nicki has just walked into Barb's house, by the way, and Margene comes out of the bathroom, wrapped in bubbles and a towel, squealing indignantly at Bill, "I can't believe you did this to me!" Barb offers to talk to Margene. Margene reaches for Bill's phone, and Nicki reaches for Barb's, and it's probably to the advantage of everyone that they both get slapped away. Bill tells Barb that they have tentative dinner plans with the Paulsons. "Dinner? Now there's a dinner?" Margene complains. Bill hopefully suggests to her, "Why don't you go get a massage in the spa?" Margene just glares at him harder than ever and slams herself back into the bathroom. Barb warns Bill that if she shows up, it doesn't mean she's on board with Weber Gaming. Bill accepts that. Margene pops out of the bathroom again and declares with great dignity, "I will not go from 'public wife' to 'secretary' to 'go get lost in the spa so no one knows you're here.'" Which is a good enough line that she could be forgiven for needing a minute to come up with it. But she's going to break that bathroom door if she doesn't quit slamming it.

Back at the house, Nicki gloats, thinking this is all because "Margene couldn't cut it." Barb says it's not that, and tells Nicki about the old LDS friends who turned up at the convention. Nicki's all for letting Bill twist in the breeze, but Barb says, "It's worth a lot to us. To our family." And to Barb's self-image as the perennial rescuer and fixer, not to mention that of public wife. Not that she says that. Nicki appears horrified to hear that Barb is going. Nicki hurls herself into a high dudgeon, acting all offended at the way Bill's mistreating all of them. She storms out, yelling that she's not taking Bill's suits to the dry cleaners, neither.

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Big Love

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