Later, Barb continues to equivocate over having a conversation with Bill that can basically be summed up in one sentence -- "Try not to drag the child bride to the table when she's clad in but a napkin" -- so Nicki says she'll do it.

In the next scene, one of Margene's kids can be heard crying on the baby monitor as Bill calls his mom. He pockets his Viagra and has a long and ultimately frustrating conversation that ends in Lois browbeating him into picking up Frank from the hospital the next day. Bill hangs up in frustration and notices Nicki hovering in the doorway. He's genuinely surprised as he asks her what she's doing over there, and Nicki assumes a long-suffering air as she tells him, "I'm here on behalf of Barb. What's gotten into you lately?" Bill is frankly skeptical: "'On behalf of Barb'?" Nicki presses on, nattering that it's understandable that Bill's sliding on schedules because it happens even in the best-run group marriages, but really, her issue is that Margene "screams like a tractor-trailer." I love how she keeps returning to the combustion-engine theme in her analogies. Bill is just listening as Nicki continues, "Barb is deeply upset and deeply jealous." "What about you?" Bill asks. "Are you jealous that Margie goes off like a tractor-trailer?" Nicki snaps, "I fight my jealousies and I conquer them." Bill calls Nicki on her act by telling her to pass on his apology to Barb. Then the two of them jump each other's bones.

Cut to Margene heading up her stairs with a load of laundry and hearing Bill tell a panting Nicki, "Who's my blue-eyed girl? You're my blue-eyed girl, aren't you?" We see that the two of them are busy having sex on Margene's bed. Margene doesn't see it, but she hears it. She immediately sprints downstairs and dives under a built-in ledge in the foyer. She draws her knees up to her chest and bites back tears. Something tells me this is a learned habit from her childhood.

The dirty deed done, a pristinely buttoned-up Nicki walks across the yard, looking like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. She sidles into Barb's kitchen and reports that she's talked to Bill. Barb says, "What's he going to do about it?" Nicki boldly says, "He thinks you should call a meeting and tell Margene she has to stick to the schedule. Or at least practice some self-control." Oh, Nicki, you prairie garb-wearing hypocrite! You are the Amanda Woodward of Henricksons' homes plus.