Big Love
Viagra Blue

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I Saw What You Did Last Morning

Back at Henrickson's homes plus, Barb is making small talk with Verna and JoJo at one bridge table while Margene irritates the ever-loving tar out of Nicki at the other table. We zoom under Barb's table to see that Verna and JoJo are playing footsies. Verna demonstrates that she should be playing poker, not bridge, by fondly detailing Jason the Boy Scout's many outstanding badge-earning accomplishments while maintaining her pediflirtation. Anyway, at Margene's table, she professes ignorance of what she's supposed to do with her cards, and while Peg's trying to be helpful, Margene looks at her as if Peg had just said, "Blah blah blah Ginger blah blah blah." After more dithering, Nicki implores, "Marge, if you don't bid, I'm going to scream." Then some bridge stuff happens -- I confess that this is my "Blah blah blah Ginger blah blah blah" moment -- and Margene lays down her cards. Cue Nicki's freakout over the cards, and the camera lingers on Margene's face long enough to suggest that this whole farce was played out precisely to irritate Nicki. Or maybe she's just pleased that she could irritate Nicki, no matter what.

Back on the double date, when the ladies take off for a moment, Jason lectures Ben on how he needs serious guidance and can't let his erection do the thinking for him. Jason sums up, "CTR, man -- choose the right."

Oh, heck, now Margene's flogging the car thing with Barb and I am just sick unto death of this whole storyline.

Bill is back before the triple mirror, popping a Viagra. Barb's waiting for him in bed. They have a brief chat about how someone needs to talk with Ben regarding "responsibility" and sexual conduct and Barb frets, "His new girlfriend is kind of fast." Taking her hand, Bill guides it beneath the sheets, asking, "How fast? This fast?" Barb snaps, "I hope not." Good thing she wasn't in the VW, then. I have a feeling that had Jason, Guardian Of Ben's Manhood, not been around, then Barb's hopes would have been cruelly dashed. Bill and Barb get down to business, and in a shocking break from previous tradition, we do not get the full moon experience. Outside, the sprinklers come on in the least subtle metaphor for ejaculation ever.

The next morning, Bill's preparing to take off and drop Frank back at the compound, but Barb lures him back into bed.

Cut to Nicki -- in those infernal cowboy boots -- marching her kids across the yard, chiding them, "And you have to wear your shin guards, okay? I know they're uncomfortable, but you're better off in the end." The two kids troop into the house with Nicki and they pass a clock showing that it's five minutes before 9 AM. Nicki heads upstairs with the boys, and gets an earful of Bill and Barb's morning special.

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Big Love

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