Big Love
Where There's A Will

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Will They Or Won't They?

Cut to Barb hollering, "The compound!" Nicki elects to glare at the messenger -- Margene -- before turning to Barb and coolly saying, "Yes. I want my kids to go to my mother." Barb demands to know why Nicki would do that, and Nicki says, "It's this place. It's the bad values. Your bad values -- you have fine values, most of the time -- it's the culture here. The disrespect, the loose morals. I want my children to be raised in an environment where God isn't under attack, where God hasn't been taken out of the schools." Setting aside the knotty theological question "I thought the whole point to God was that She was all-powerful and therefore not cowed by pesky civil libertarians who like to point out that the separate of church and state benefits both parties?" -- setting that aside, is anyone kind of boggled that freakin' UTAH is apparently considered a seething cesspool of sin? Wouldn't it be kind of funny to send Nicki to Vegas for a weekend?

Barb is not appeased. She says, "We agreed that all the kids stay together. So if I die and Bill dies and you die, all the kids go to the compound?" Wouldn't that leave behind Lester and Aaron? I'm over-thinking this: the point is, we are once again playing out the clash of Barb vs. Nicki. Margene's not even on this title card. Barb is actually so mad she's hollering about how she doesn't want her kids to go to the compound. She speed-dials the lawyer, puts on a fake-friendly voice and tells Lee Hatcher that "I need another will sent over. To me. And please just leave it blank, who I'm leaving Ben, Sarah and Teeny to." Then Barb charges out of Nicki's house.

Margene quickly scampers after her, stopping only to put on her clogs and bounce around Barb's heels, asking anxiously, "Barb? You're going to leave me out of this, right, Barb?" Barb isn't even listening -- she's too busy ranting. "Values! The compound's a cesspool. There's no way on God's green earth I am going to get my --" Barb heads into her house as Margene finally yells, "No reason for Nicki to know that I changed mine, right?"

Cut to Lee Hatcher's office, where he's telling Bill something along the lines of, "You know, if your wives continue with this will nonsense, the legal fees alone will kill you and you still won't have figured out who gets all the kids." And then on to the good news: Bill can buy Holloway's shares, which means that he'll be able to take Holloway's seat on the UEB council. Lee Hatcher has no idea why Bill would want to do this. Bill shuts down and says, "It's business." Lee says, "As your friend? Baloney." Bill snots that he knows what he's doing. Lee says urgently, "I recommend you don't do it." Bill gets all shirty with "As your client, I recommend you figure out how the heck we're going to put some value on these." Lee warns him it'll take a few months, and Bill says smugly, "Fine. No rush." Lee looks like he regrets having Bill as a client right about then.

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Big Love

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