Big Shots
Pilot

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Couch Baron: C | Grade It Now!
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Isn't It Ironic...

Finally, we get something worth looking at, as Duncan emerges from the pool. Pausing on a dripping wet McDermott clad only in a bathing suit is a good way to ensure that this recap never gets done. But I will soldier on, only for you all: Duncan stands in front of the guys, who are lying on lounge chairs and dressed in robes, and the fact that I've seen so much shirtless Malina while Vartan is being covered up here is enough to make me bitter even as the water continues to drip down Duncan's chest. I think this is a hot pool from all the steam in the air, by the way, not that that really matters. Anyway, Duncan dismissively says that the mistress never tells, and counsels Karl to buy her something nice. James then continues his Overidentification Theater subplot as he speculates that Wendy could be having an affair too, and while Karl is too dumb, self-involved, and dweeby to catch the snap here, Brody and Duncan give James their full attention, and he reveals the news about the infidelity. Brody sincerely (and amusingly; I can't fault Titus's line deliveries) says that sucks, but then loses me when he stands up and says they're "supposed to be these alpha males." First off, calling yourself an "alpha male" is like calling yourself "alternative" -- if you have to say it yourself, the description doesn't actually fit you. (Also, the water with the lemon slices they're all drinking isn't helping.) And secondly, these guys may be CEOs or whatever (...I'm not sure how, given that they seem to spend eight hours a day at this club), but it seems to me the biggest measure of an alpha male (if you're using the complimentary version of the term) is the way he commands respect from other men, and I can't see that these guys commanded respect from anyone, ever. If this show is ever to be even remotely appealing, it'll have to be because the guys' friendships feel genuine and because they actually show some caring toward each other, not because they're "alpha males." Brody complains about the Napoleons again, and then Duncan overdramatically declares, "Men. We're the new women." Is that line more offensive or more pathetic? You decide! Amazingly, Brody gets a phone call that means more dessert-related "wackiness," and goes away to deal with his "pastry issues." Duncan gives us an absolutely dreadful line about Brody having a Napoleon complex, and James laughs, like, what affair? Karl finally trudges off too, like, no rush to get home when your mistress might be having a chat with your wife or anything. This leaves Duncan and James, who have one of the only half-believable relationships on the show, and Duncan sincerely tells James he's sorry. James stares into space: "Yeah. Me too."

Marla gets out of a cab in front of Karl's house (...that's the home of a big-shot CEO? It looks like a doll house compared to, say, the Walker Manse. I mean, I know they don't seem to have children, but still) and, pleased with herself, looks at it for a moment before approaching. Cut to her knocking, and Wendy, a tall, friendly-looking light brunette opens up and asks Marla if she can help her. Marla, with no less friendly a smile, responds, "Actually, maybe I can help you." Tell her, Marla! You'll be doing us all a favor!

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Big Shots

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