Big Shots
Pilot

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Couch Baron: C | Grade It Now!
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Isn't It Ironic...

Duncan and Brody are in the car; Brody's on the Bluetooth to his wife, and there's a total retread where he's sugary-sweet to her on the phone and then bitches about the stupid desserts for the stupid party once he gets off. Dude, why don't you just nab Karl's wife? Then you'll all be happy, or at least happy enough to shut the fuck up for five minutes, which amounts to the same thing from where I'm sitting. They pull into the truck stop; as they look around for "Dontrelle," the one reasonably funny line is when Brody learns that Dontrelle got promoted to work this spot and replies, "She must have kicked ass at the slaughterhouse!" Titus is trying; I'll give him that. They eventually spy a working girl, and she saunters over and asks if they're looking for a good time. Brody holds up his ring: "I'm married. I'm done with good times." Pull up a chair...nah, too easy. Duncan asks about Dontrelle, and the girl says she no longer works there. Brody: "Another promotion, perhaps!" Hee. I'll give him that one as well. When the girl keeps mum about Dontrelle's whereabouts at first, Brody gives Duncan a bill to hand to the girl (huh? Is Duncan too good to carry cash?), and she grins at her good fortune and says she might be able to track down Dontrelle through a client she knows. Duncan gives the girl his card and begs her to have Dontrelle call him, and when the girl speculates that Dontrelle must have been great, Brody ba-dum-bums that when it comes to sex, "she's the man." I think Duncan closed his eyes in pain there, but it was hard to tell because I was doing the same.

James is sitting on his very odd-looking little patio on the edge of his ugly house, brooding and drinking a beer. Stacey comes out and makes some noises about the kids and going to bed, but he talks about the first time he met her, in an economics class in college. He says he saw her walk in, and he was already there, since he was fifteen minutes early for every class freshman year. Okay, writers! Nice one. I liked that little bit of actual storytelling. He goes on that he thought that if he could just sit across from her and have a cup of coffee, his life would be perfect. He's being pretty maudlin for having had one beer, but then again, he is awfully skinny. He gets up and says his life isn't perfect, and strides away; confused, she follows and asks if he's nervous about the interview the next day, but he lays it out and asks if she was having an affair with his boss, "and I'll respect you a hell of a lot more if you tell me the truth." She eventually cops to it, and he snarls that actually, he doesn't respect her at all. Me neither, because you landed MICHAEL VARTAN, and I know couples sometimes grow apart, but it's like she just wiped her ass with a winning lottery ticket here. A badly written exchange about walking out yields to James melodramatically running to his car and peeling out of there as his wife yells, "James, don't go!" I'd imagine that's what Vartan's significant other said to him in regard to this show, only she had much more justification for doing so.

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Big Shots

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