Bionic Woman
Bionic Woman

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 445 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Paradise Lost

Bookstore. Jaime is browsing. Specifically, she's flipping through What Color Is Your Parachute?, probably filling out some kind of flower-shaped diagram in her head, when Isaiah Washington, of all people, strolls up and inquires. Now, look. I could sit here for a very long time giving you my impressions of Isaiah Washington, but I am so over that entire story that I really, really won't. Suffice it to say that as far as I'm concerned, everything that has come out of his mouth since the initial triggering incident has been bullshit, and my only problem with what Grey's Anatomy did is that they didn't do it sooner. Whether that means he shouldn't get the next job is a whole weird thing unto itself, but as far as I'm concerned, that's all I have to say about it. Die, scandal, die!

So anyway, Isaiah Washington is walking his dog in the bookstore (?) and explains to Jaime that after he read Parachute, he started a nonprofit that gives clean water to Third World countries. She looks nonplussed. She's more comfortable after she bends down to play with "Scrap," Isaiah Washington's Jack Russell terrier. Ultimately, he (Isaiah, not the dog) introduces himself as "Antonio," and she introduces herself back. He asks if she's "seriously considering a life change," and she says she's not sure. She just "got out of a relationship" with a guy who, as a matter of fact, died. Antonio is sorry. They do the "I don't know why I'm telling you this"/"sometimes strangers are easier" thing for a moment. She tells him it feels like all her friends are moving along, and she's just stuck in one place, with her bionic legs and her magic eye and her dead boyfriend and her flibbety-floo. I'm actually not sure Parachute will help her, because it's not like it has sections for, like, "Do your skills include super-hearing?" Antonio busts out "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," which, thanks, genius. Maybe he's talking about his recent tabloid-y experiences, but...I hope not. She's all, "That is SO TRUE," and it's a little too punny for my tastes, really.

Later, Jaime sits at a diner reading her book as a TV report talks about how the entire town of Paradise is under quarantine. And no one knows why. And then, awesomely, Jaime goes outside, where her ear begins to pick up some sound of a woman crying. She looks up, her eye turns green (FINALLY!), and she focuses in on a lady standing on the edge of a roof. Now, she bionically runs down the street toward the sound. She finds herself on the roof with the jumper, and just as Jaime gets near her, the woman decides to fall back off the roof, so of course, Jaime has to get there just in time to grab the lady by one wrist. Jaime hauls her back over the edge, and they collapse together, and Jaime has now had her first taste of good-doing in the most predictable way possible. Literally! Thanks, jumpers, for inspiring new heroes around the world. "How did you do that?" the woman asks. There is a pause. "Pilates?" Jaime says. Heh. Now, see, that's weak as she delivers it, but it's much more the tone that the show should have. You have to have some appreciation for your own camp factor if you're going to be...this.

Bionic Woman

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