Bionic Woman
Paradise Lost

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Paradise Lost

We return to Paradise, where Toothpaste Girl is being escorted out of her house by Jaime and Ruth, and she's quite distraught at all the death and destruction outside. I don't understand where she was when all this happened. Sleeping? For the entire time that everyone died in the street? Does she play her iPod that loudly? She pauses to eulogize her grandparents, saying, "They were good to me," and then she's done with that, and she just asks "what did this." Ruth tells her that's what they're trying to find out, and Toothpaste Girl doesn't understand why she's still alive. Ruth asks if she remembers anything weird about the morning, and Toothpaste tells her that there was a big truck driving around last night, "like a gas truck," and she noticed it circling the town. You know -- they may be onto something! Ruth rushes off, telling Jaime to "stay out of trouble."

Later, Jaime and Toothpaste stroll down the burned-out, deathed-out landscape of the former Paradise, and Toothpaste says she feels "like a freak." Jaime says she gets that, and Toothpaste doesn't believe her. Jaime's like, "People made from natural parts don't get it." (Paraphrased.) Then Jaime hears something, and she looks around in confusion, trying to place it. There seems to be a voice! She then sees some camo-wearing dudes come around a corner, and her eye greens out and zooms in on the eye of the guy currently telling her and Toothpaste not to worry, because he's with "the good guys." The eye she's looking at has a dilated pupil, and in case you don't get that, the red letters flash, "DILATION." So her bionic eye not only sees well, but it does analysis, too. It's not totally clear to me whether a dilated pupil means you have an evil plot to poison millions of people or what, but Jaime seems to take it as a suggestion of danger. She eavesdrops on the sound from another guy's earpiece, which is saying something about "closing in on the girl." Jaime cheerfully says to the guy, "Okay," but then she suddenly takes off running with Toothpaste in tow. She's only going to slow you down, Jaime! Throw her through a plate-glass window and run for it! The military guys shoot at them, but of course, they have the usual bad-guy aim problems that television is so fond of.

Now, Jaime and Toothpaste are hiding in some kind of a building as the camo guys run around outside, and Toothpaste wants to know who the hell Jaime is and what's going on. "That's a long story," Jaime says self-importantly, as if Toothpaste is a nosy nuisance instead of the only survivor of a plague. She tells Toothpaste to "just be quiet" and wait for help. And then Jaime's phone rings, and Jaime answers it, and it's Becca, who wants to know where her Tenacious D shirt is. Jaime says she can't talk, and Becca goes into her usual pouty "hell with you, then" routine, announcing once more that she's moving in with Dad. Jaime asks her not to do anything until Jaime gets home. "I want that T-shirt," Becca announces before she hangs up. It's always the wrong people stuck in the town when the toxic synthetic hits, isn't it? Toothpaste asks who that was. "My little sister; she hates me," Jaime says.

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Bionic Woman




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