Bionic Woman
Paradise Lost

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Paradise Lost

And then, wherever they're hiding, one of the camo guys comes in and finds them. He orders them out, and Jaime gets up and punches him with...the wrong hand, I guess. I can't keep track. She pulls herself together and they start to fight for real. I guess the idea here is that Jaime has all the machinery but none of the finesse or something, because basically, she's getting her ass kicked for a good part of the fight. Finally, she cocks her bionic arm and sends the guy into the wall, and then she checks on Toothpaste, but as she does, camo guy starts to get up again. So Jaime has to whap him anew with her big bionic arm, and then she says, "Bitch." Wow. Just then, Ruth shows up. She grabs an apparently fully loaded gun right off the wall of whatever small-town business this is (?), and she says "they" have "heavy artillery" and are on the way. "Nice work," she says, looking at the incapacitated camo guy, and she says they'll leave these dudes a "parting gift." It's amazing how much Ruth talks like Sheriff John Bunnell from World's Wildest Police Videos. She's like, "These bad guys will learn...that not all parting gifts can be enjoyed at home." We see the parting gift, which is a grenade, attached to camo guy. Inside the store, the rest of the guys come looking for the women, who have all slipped out the back, and in doing so, the guys trip the wire Ruth has apparently set up, which causes a big explosion.

Outside, Ruth and Jaime and Toothpaste run smack into a guy dressed in all black, who points a gun and tells them to get down. They do, just in time for Antonio (for it is he) to take aim at the guys who are coming up behind them. See, they've been rescued! By big boys with guns! The good guys (in black) take control of the camo guys, and Antonio peels off his mask. "Who are you people?" Toothpaste asks, and Ruth says, "We're with the Department of Agriculture." Hee hee. Okay, now, see, if they can embrace the camp a little bit, as with that line, this show will really not be all that bad. It won't be good, but it won't be awful. It might even be fun, a little.

Back from another set of commercials (of which there are many, it feels like), we find Starbot and Jae on the floor in front of the fire, covered by a sheet, having had a nice anniversary celebration. He asks her why she killed all those people, and she says she thinks she was "hacked." He sits up. "I watched you die," he says. She says she understands that he had no choice but to shoot her. That's pretty understanding of her, really. Frankly, I'd be mad.

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Bionic Woman

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