Bionic Woman
Second Chances

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Second Chances

Jaime flees into the ladies' room, where she immediately hurls into the nearest toilet. Should have asked for the bionic tummy! As she rinses out her mouth at the sink, Starbot is suddenly there, saying, "Let me help you." She tells Jaime to take deep breaths, then says, "It's like that, the first time the eye and ear implants come online." Jaime looks up and stares at Starbot in the mirror. Starbot tells her that it's information overload, and she has to learn to "focus it" and to turn it off and on. The two women stand at the mirror, and Starbot picks up Jaime's hand and notes that her finger has stopped bleeding already and shows no sign of injury. "You're a fast healer," she coos, and I swear to God, they're playing this entire scene like these women are totally going to make out any minute now. Jaime finally pulls her hand back. "Who are you?" she asks. "Who are you?" Starbot asks her. This show is the worst factory for witty comebacks since -- wait for it -- According To Jim. (I get a bonus every time I do that.) Jaime just looks down into the sink, and when she looks up again, Starbot is gone. Back out in the bar, Jaime suddenly hears a husky voice whispering her name. Her bionic ear can pick it out, and when she finally spots Starbot in the crowd, she says, "Tell everyone Sarah Corvis says hello." Exit Starbot.

Later, Jaime is in an alley alone, all lit with red, when she suddenly senses that she's being watched and/or followed. Far down the alley, a guy emerges from a building, and her eye gives her a kind of picture-in-picture where she gets a close-up in addition to the long view. He walks toward her, all, "You need somethin'?" When he gets near (which is possible because she stands there instead of running away like a normal person would do), he flicks open a knife. Ooh, big mistake, Bald And Menacing. Jaime takes the knife away and commits a series of acts of bionic-fu that result in her getting the guy flat on his back with his own knife to his neck. "Please," he begs. She walks away from him, dropping the knife point-down so that it sticks straight up with the point...stuck in the asphalt? Hey, effects geniuses: not likely. You can't really stab pavement. Idiots. Jaime runs off.

We rejoin Jaime as she storms down a city street, unaware that Shadowy is watching her from a car. P.Dorkus answers his door and finds Jaime there, demanding to know what he put in her head. She tells him she just got through almost killing someone, and she's a trifle concerned about what might have caused that to happen. P.Dorkus says that her cerebral cortex has been outfitted with some microchips his father developed "for the military" for the benefit of Gulf War amputees. "You made me into a soldier!" she says in despair, and he admits that one could say she's "hard-wired for highly specialized warfare," but baby, don't hate! You know you're special! I'm not like all the others! I hard-wired you for highly specialized warfare because I love you! He assures Jaime that she could be just fine "with the proper training," and he adds that he only did it because he "couldn't bear to lose" her. He puts his academic's mitts on her big robot face, and they hug.

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Bionic Woman

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