Bionic Woman
Second Chances

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Second Chances

And then the music turns into what sounds like whales sighing while dolphins read Chicken Soup For The Soul out loud, and we cut to a bed. Naked P.Dorkus lowers partially naked Jaime onto the bed, and they are smooching. He's holding her hand, but he's also sort of...moving around on top of her, and then she suddenly says, "That isn't even me." While she could be referring to her hand, it's difficult for me not to conclude that poor old P.Dorkus is doing a Chachi/Joanie on her artificial leg right now. (If you didn't watch Scott Baio Is 45 And Single, in which case: SHAME ON YOU, we learned on that show that Scott Baio lost his virginity to Erin Moran, but that during their first encounter, he had to be corrected after passionately offering his virginity to the sofa on which they were situated. Just another chapter in the lengthy book, Reasons Why Inexperienced Doers Of It Should Not Start Out On Upholstered Furniture.) After she insists "that" isn't her, he insists that "that" most certainly is her. And then comes the bionic sexing, which is represented exclusively by horizontal kissing, the hallmark of boring network sex scenes since time immemorial. Oh, the unexplored possibilities in that scene, just comedy-wise.

Later, Jaime is moodily standing by the giant picture window, where the rain is pouring outside, and she's putting her...earring back on? I guess? She says she has to return to Becca, and she asks P.Dorkus what exactly the people do that he works with. He goes into a silly ramble about how "science fiction" no longer includes the "fiction" part, and after she becomes bored with that, she asks him about Sarah Corvis. He wants to know where she got that name. He comes over to the window to repeat this question, at which point a bullet comes through the window, knocking them both to the ground. P.Dorkus is hit. Rather than...I don't know, calling an ambulance to save her bleeding boyfriend, Jaime simply looks out the window and uses her bionic eye to spot Starbot, many blocks away, apparently having used a high-powered rifle to shoot through the window. She fires again, but this time, Jaime knows it's coming and rolls P.Dorkus out of the way with her body, While You Were Sleeping-style. Hearing the shots downstairs in his spy car, Shadowy gets out and heads for the scene. In the apartment, Jaime cradles P.Dorkus. She tells him to "hold on," but then she dumps him on the floor to fend for himself. I kind of don't blame her.

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Bionic Woman

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