Back at the Clocktower, Barbara's working away when Alfred shows up to annoy everybody, and he tells Barbara he was "sorting the mail" at Wayne Manor, and if my butler waited until the middle of the middle of the night to give me my damn mail I'd be getting a new butler pretty soon. And he gives her something she might find "interesting" -- it's an invitation to New Gotham's annual fashion show benefit, and he suggests that she and "Master Wade" could go but Barbara cuts him off and says she doesn't have time for this, and Alfred says, "I understand you don't have time for the Bahamas either," like, SHUT UP ALFRED and go back to butler school where you might learn not to be so nosy. And meanwhile the credits are still rolling and we're half done the show already. And Alfred presses on and says Wade was pretty disappointed, so maybe she could make it up to him, and I'm as sensitive as the next guy -- I even have a 10,000 Maniacs CD somewhere at home -- but I should say that the day my girlfriend cancels our trip to the Bahamas and tries to "make it up to me" by taking me to a fashion show is the day I start looking for a new girlfriend. Barbara basically tells Alfred to buzz off, but then he says that Batman's one regret was that he never found someone to share his life with, like, does no one remember Robin? Anyway, Barbara ignores this.
Helena walks in, and she gives a little high-five to Alfred as he leaves, which was kind of funny. And she tells Barbara that Kroner has gone straight (which is based solely on Kroner telling her he's gone straight) and that the compound would kill anyone but Clayface because of his unique DNA; she says she's going to pay Clayface a visit in Arkham, and Barbara nervously says she doesn't think that's a good idea, but Helena more or less ignores Barbara's obvious discomfort, saying Reese can get her into Arkham.
And thank you, Silence of the Lambs, for inspiring endless rip-off "quid pro quo" scenes like the one we're about to watch. We're in Arkham, and there's this guy in one of those clear glass enclosures, and he's sculpting, and he has chocolate icing or something all gooped all over his head so I guess this is Clayface, and he recognizes Helena Kyle because of her grace. "You are your mother's child," he says, saying he had a thing for Selena Kyle, like, gee, where could they possibly going with Barbara's nervousness over Helena seeing Clayface and Clayface bring up Helena's mom? Although I will go on record as saying that I like Clayface's languid Southern drawl, because if nothing else it's a break from the stereotypical "overly mannered European gentleman" style of craziness adopted by most actors playing villains, who should all be sending Alan Rickman residual cheques. Helena wants to know if he knows anything about how to reverse the clay transmogrification thing. "What's in it for me?" he drawls. And he asks her to pose for him, and she says "forget it," like, I guess that's too much to ask for in exchange for info to save a dying man's life, like, NICE SUPERHERO. Clayface complains about having nothing to inspire him in the prison, and he blathers on about his true raw material being human emotion, and he asks Helena to share pain and suggests she describe the night her mother was killed, and again I WONDER WHERE THIS IS GOING. Helena declines, and Clayface says, "Then this man dies. That's not very heroic of you, Huntress, is it?" and he asks if she's missing the "strong moral core" that "plagued" her father. So she agrees to tell him about it and says she doesn't really remember everything, and he's coaching her by saying there must have been a lot of blood. "How did that make you feel?" he asks, and Helena quietly says, "Cold. Empty," which is coincidentally how I feel whenever I watch this show, and can I point out that in just two minutes Clayface has gotten more information out of her than Quinzel ever did, and this goes on for a few moments with Clayface excitedly painting a mental picture out of Helena's pain, and she says it's his turn to tell her something, like, thank you, Clarice, and he tells her to tell Barbara to use "calcium sulfate," and Helena gets the idea that Clayface know who the villain of the week is and asks him, but he tells her not to get greedy, since they're just starting to have some fun. And he sends her to go help the guy while he completes his evil-genius gesturing and posing.













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