Birds of Prey
Feat Of Clay

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C | Grade It Now!
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Again with the killing dilemma?

Special warning saying that tonight's episode is intended for its adult and teen audience, although upon review I'm not sure what the difference was between it and any other episode.

We open in Dr. Quinzel's office, and it is about time Mia Sara got back to earning her opening credit. Helena blathers on about how good she feels, better than in a long time. Dr. Quinzel wants to know what they can attribute Helena's new "cheerful outlook" to, and meanwhile Harley's hair is all blown out the back of her head, making it look like she's standing in a gale-force wind. Helena says she finally opened up to the cop and decided to trust him, "tell him things about who [she] really [is]." And Quinzel prompts her: "Like?" and Helena hems and haws and Quinzel says if she's "serious about therapy" then she's going to have to open up and share her life, "all of it." And I don't know how many therapy sessions they've had already but maybe Quinzel should have given her this speech on Day One, because I'm fairly certain that she's been serious about collecting her fee all this time. And Helena says she's grateful for the help, but feels they've gone as far as they can go. "I want to end therapy," she says, and Quinzel can barely hide her panic and says they're still discovering who Helena is, and Helena's all "later" and Quinzel is desperately pointing out they still have fifteen minutes left in the session and Helena ignores this and thanks her for everything, and then Quinzel suggests she come back one more time so they can tie up loose ends, and this is kind of like dumping someone who then suggests going out for coffee "just as friends" and Helena all non-committal says "I'll try" and shakes Quinzel's hand, and Quinzel doesn't let go until Helena gets a little creeped out.

Now we're in some industrial section of town, and there's a sign on a chain-link fence of this chemical plant that says (what else?) "New Gotham Chemicals." Some dude unlocks a padlock on this easily climbable fence with no barbed wire on it, and goes snooping around until he finds some sort of vat. "At last," he says, which is really something only a super-villain would say. And when he opens it, this alarm goes off, so I guess we're supposed to believe the alarm is connected to this vat in this easily accessible area. He pulls out a vial with some growing green liquid in it, and a rent-a-cop shows up and draws his gun and gives the standard "what are you doing?" greeting. Shifty dude doesn't say anything; he just pops open the vial and chugs the liquid. And the guard is suddenly concerned for this guy's safety and he says, "That's poison, it'll kill you!" and the goop-drinker says, "I doubt that," and then he looks at his hands expectantly, but nothing happens, and he says, "I don't understand," and neither does the guard, who adds, "But you're crazy," and he grabs the dude's wrist, and at his touch, the guard's body turns into clay, freezing him in position. The other dude says it wasn't exactly what he wanted, "but it'll do nicely," and he stands there grinning what I think was supposed to be an evil smile and the camera stays on him for about five hours. Commercials.

You know, I tried that Axe body spray, and I don't recall being jumped by random babes in elevators. At least, no more than usual.

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Birds of Prey

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