Birds of Prey
Gladiatrix

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D+ | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Let's get ready to bumble

Helena and Dinah pummel each other, the men shouting encouragement. Helena gets Dinah in a headlock -- fortunately, they're by the side of the cage, so Reese is able to dash in and zap Helena in the leg with the drug thing. Whaddaya know, Barbara's cure works instantly; Helena drops Dinah to the floor. Of course, this finally blows Reese's cover. Scarface yells, "Get him!" and the so-called guards close in. In the ring, Dinah grabs her steel pipe and whacks Helena with it.

Just as the guards are about to give Reese what-for, the other captured metahumans show up, so I guess Reese freed them and cured them too. Wasn't that nice of him? Scarface, however, doesn't think that should deter his men. Notice the way he inspires his men to "get them, you cowards!" But when Kayla lifts her hand and starts whipping up a couple of fireballs, the guards say "nuts to this" and scatter, leaving Scarface all by himself. He nervously suggests that they can come to some kind of understanding. "Yes, I agree," says Kayla, but she hucks a fireball at him, so I don't think she means it.

Back in the ring, Dinah's now got the upper hand on Helena, who isn't really fighting back, since it's not Dinah, it's the drug. Or so says Helena. "You sure about that?" says Dinah. Helena screams for Reese to help, and he obligingly gives Dinah a shot in the back of the leg, making Dinah drop Helena. Meanwhile, Kayla and the other former prisoners chase Scarface into the ring. And there are only two of them, which makes no sense in terms of these fights, which have been going on for several weeks according to the timeframe of the abductions, and which are to the death, but only five metahuman women are missing. Anyway, the women, including Helena and Dinah, have Scarface surrounded now. Reese asks him how it feels to be on the inside. Scarface asks Reese if he wants his money back, and I can't decide if that's really stupid or really funny. Scarface says he was just having some fun, and Reese says, "I should probably say something about Christians and lions, but you know what? I don't have the energy," which I think means the writers wanted to draw some sort of analogy but couldn't be arsed to actually do the necessary research, and finally just decided to have Reese deliver that utterly meaningless line all tough. Helena gives Reese a look, and he strolls away as the women apparently get set to rip Scarface to shreds.

Later, Dinah's all alone in the arena when Helena comes in and tells her "everyone's out," so they can go, and we're supposed to believe there were legions of metahuman women down there. Dinah says she "called" Barbara, since Dinah thought she might like to know they didn't beat each other to death, and since Dinah's wearing a two-way radio, I'm not sure what this "I called Barbara" nonsense is all about. Helena asks Dinah if she told Barbara about "Malcolm," which I guess is Scarface's name, like, when the evil baddies on your superhero show are named Malcolm, it's no wonder your ass got cancelled. Dinah says she left out a few details, but she and Helena also imply that Malcolm isn't dead or anything, and it sounds like the cops have him, so I'm not sure what they're trying to get at, or what exactly they did when Reese left the room, or HOW MUCH MORE IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ONE SHOW TO SUCK. Helena thinks Dinah got what she wanted, which was to take on Helena, and Dinah thinks she proved her point. "What point is that, that you could take me if you were on a rage-induced [sic] super-drug?" and then they bicker about whether Dinah was actually winning, and whether Helena was actually trying, and Helena knew Barbara was coaching (fine job she did there, by the way). Helena's cockiness is, however, undercut somewhat by the fact she happens to be limping a little.

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Birds of Prey

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