Birds of Prey

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D+ | 1 USERS: F
Let's get ready to bumble

Back at the scene of Scarface's disappearance, Helena finds a rather conspicuous manhole cover, which she figures is where the guy got away. Ya think? She says she's going in, while Barbara guides her using maps that you'd think might have come in handy when Helena was chasing the guy in the first place, but let's not quibble, shall we? Upstairs, Dinah's apparently finished beating the bejesus out of her punching bag and asks Alfred, who appears to be making dinner, what's going on. He fills her in, and Dinah of course gets pissed off that Helena went without her. "Ah, so you wish to wade in the sewage as well?" says Alfred. Dinah doesn't answer, just stomps off. "It's amazing what appeals to the youth of today," says Alfred dryly, completely ignoring my earlier admonition to him to shut up.

Back under the city, Helena opens an iron grate. She's bone-dry and clean, of course, completely belying her comment a moment ago that she should have taken Alfred up on his hip waders. "Well, doesn't look like we're in Kansas anymore, Toto," she says, and I have no idea what supposedly is so odd about this room of the sewer system. Nevertheless, Barbara compounds the idiocy by saying, "Uh, I prefer to think of myself as the Wizard." This scintillating dialogue is interrupted by Helena's GPS beginning to conk out, and Barbara doesn't know where she is. Helena's striding through corridors, saying it looks like some kind of prison, but she's breaking up and Barbara can't quite make it out. Helena then finds a door with the same symbol as the one on the disc. "I think I found something." She opens the door into a room filled with a large cage and several smaller cages, which looks to Helena like some kind of arena. "From the looks of the accommodations, it ain't Lilith Fair," and all I can say is thank god for that, because the only way this show could be more annoying would be if Jewel showed up to start yodeling at us. Meanwhile, Barbara's still not hearing her: "Huntress! Huntress! I am not receiving your stale pop-culture references! Do you copy?" Alfred looks on, concerned. Apparently Helena does not copy, as she begins going, "Oracle?" over and over again. "Well, looks like I'm on my own," she says. Well, not completely. Scarface is there, and he shoots her in the back with his laser-guided dart gun. Helena's eyes briefly flash into their cat mode. "What a pleasant surprise," says Scarface. Helena staggers towards him, clutching at the lapels of his white tuxedo jacket before she slumps to the ground as the guy says, "Oh, I do love a woman that makes the first move," and his dry witticisms are really starting to work my nerves. Commercials.

When we come back, Barbara's still trying to get hold of Helena when Dinah wanders up and asks what's going on, and maybe she's been listening to too much Marvin Gaye lately. Barbara fills her in on the most recent abduction, as well as losing contact with Helena, saying there must be something in the Old Gotham substructure that's interfering with the comm set. Probably lead.

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Birds of Prey




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