Birds of Prey

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D+ | 1 USERS: F
Let's get ready to bumble

Back at the arena, there is now a scary group of tuxedo-clad older gentlemen pumping their fists and yelling, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Scarface is now wearing a microphone headset and yells, "So you wanna see a fight? Well, you came to the right place! Gentlemen! Welcome to Gladiatrix!" ["How awesome would it have been if they'd brought Richard Dawson out of retirement to play this role?" -- Sars] And on cue, we see a really tight close-up of what are apparently two women's torsos wrestling. That's some hot action right there.

Elsewhere, there are angry women in black stomping around their cages, rattling bars. Helena's unconscious on the floor of her cell. She wakes up and starts rattling the bars of her own cage, only to be informed by her neighbour, Ol' Green Eyes, that she can't escape, since the bars are some sort of titanium alloy that can't be broken, "even by the strongest of us." She's wearing the same identical black uniform with bright white lapels that Helena now has on. "What's going on here?" asks Helena, but Green Eyes catches herself. "The guards say not to talk to the enemy, it only makes the end harder." "'The end'? What are you talking about?" says Helena. Not too bright, is she? But Green Eyes is freaking out: "Don't come any closer, bitch!" and you're thinking, she's in a cage for crying out loud -- how close can she get? Helena tells her to relax, but Green Eyes shoots out some sort of green beams from her eyes, narrowly missing Helena's feet. Then Green Eyes's white lapels turn red and her body convulses in pain. It's Scarface, flanked by henchmen, holding the Lapel Pain Remote Control and leering evilly. After several seconds, he shuts off the torture device. "Tell me the rule, Claire," he says. "No powers in the cells. Save it for the ring," she says. "That's a good girl," he says, before strolling over to Helena's cell. "Can't have the merchandise damaging each other before the show," he says before flicking on Helena's pain lapels, knocking her to the ground. After he shuts it off, she climbs to her feet. "Try that again, I'll kill you slowly," she says, and Scarface says that she's "lively," which is one of the reasons he lured her down there, revealing that he left the disc key for her to find. "Because I can hardly wait to watch you fight," he says. She offers to fight him right there, and he rather unnecessarily tells her that she'll be fighting the other girls. When Helena asks why she'd do that, he presses his remote control again. Oh, right, the torture device thing. "The same reason all my girls fight. This!" he says as some freaky-looking prison matron injects Helena in the back of the neck. Scarface says it's a drug he designed to bring out their inner rage. Then he says he likes Helena and hopes she doesn't go too quickly.

Back at the Clocktower, Barbara and Dinah are discovering that all their frantic typing isn't much help in locating Helena. But Barbara has discovered a match for the symbol on the disc. It showed up in an arrest report a few weeks ago -- the same disc. Hey, maybe the arresting officer knows what it means. Who would that be? Why, the only cop in Gotham, apparently. Barbara dials Reese up on his cell phone and tells him to check out his computer screen. Reese comments that Oracle's not much for small talk. "Hey, how ya doing, how's the job, good? Great. Computer, please," rattles off Barbara, making Dinah smile and Reese chuckle. He recognizes the disc on his screen, and Oracle asks if he knows what it is. Reese looks around the precinct all nervously before saying, "No, not really." He says the guy he arrested "lawyered up" before Reese could learn anything. So he did some investigating on his own, but all he found was some "bizarre rumours" about an underground fighting arena with women. And with everything she's seen, all the greed and evil Barbara has witnessed over the course of her crime-fighting career, it absolutely floors Barbara that "men actually pay money to watch women beat each other up?" like, maybe boxing and wrestling don't exist in New Gotham or something. ["Or lesbian porn, evidently." -- Sars] Reese says the women fight to the death, and asks why Oracle's interested, telling her that he looked for the club but couldn't find anything. Barbara hems and haws before telling him that Helena has gone missing while looking for the abducted women. Reese wants to know where she was last seen, but Barbara doesn't say anything. "Dammit, Oracle, talk to me," snaps Reese with all the steely grit he can muster, which is to say, not much. He tells her he can help, so now's not the time to play the lone vigilante routine on him. Reluctantly, Barbara asks him if he knows where Old Gotham is.

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Birds of Prey




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