Birds of Prey
Lady Shiva

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Daniel: C | Grade It Now!
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Viva Lady Shiva

First off, retroactive shout-out to tromeo, who pegged the Nu Crappy Punk Band from last week's episode as a bad Les Savy Fav ripoff. Tromeo's music geekitude outshines even my own.

And a correction from a story I mentioned in the last recap is in order, if for no other reason than to appease my actual current girlfriend, who wants to know why she doesn't remember making out with me in a 1975 Ford Elite that later had to be towed. Instead of "current girlfriend" in the last recap, that should have been "girlfriend at the time." She's long since married and the car has long since been crushed into a little cube. To be honest, I still think about her sometimes. She was a great car.

The corner of Adams and O'Neil streets. If those names have any significance, I'm not picking up on it. We're informed this is New Gotham eight years ago, and a shadowy figure runs down the deserted street. Is there any other kind of figure than "shadowy" or street than "deserted" in New Gotham? This particular shadowy figure is a woman in a total Catwoman rip-off suit, running as best she can in four-inch heels. As she clomps up to the front door of some neighborhood building, we hear "You can't hide from me, Shiva!" boom through the air. It's Batgirl, fully upright, stepping out from the shadows across the street. "Not here, Batgirl," says "Shiva," apparently, after she puts down her color coordinated shoulder bag, which is filled with stacks of bills. Batgirl says, "You don't get to choose where I take you down," and when Shiva says, "I won't lose," Batgirl says, "Someone's got to lose" and you kind of wish that if the writers wanted to include witty banter in the fight scenes that they'd know enough to include the "witty" part. I mean, Shiva follows up with "ladies first" and I have no idea what that's even supposed to mean. Shiva whips out some sort of red, flower-shaped throwing star and whips it at Batgirl, who dodges it and chucks her own Batarang with the Birds of Prey logo on it, which I have to say is astonishingly prescient of her, I mean, she's still Batgirl, Batman hasn't left town yet, so the Birds of Prey don't even exist, but their merchandise is all over the place. Shiva ducks, and the Batarang ricochets up and around the corner, where it breaks what it is apparently supposed to be a gas main, according to the hissing sound we hear, but I'm pretty sure escaping gas doesn't generally look so steamy.

After their crappy little throwing attacks, Shiva and Batgirl decide to close in for some hand-to-hand. And it's one of the worst fights shown on this show, from the clumsy yet hilarious, film-sped-up roll over the hood of a nearby car to the phony punches and kicks that land nowhere near the target who still acts like they've been hit, to Shiva landing on a car windshield accompanied by the sound of breaking glass, but a later shot shows an undamaged windshield. Batgirl gets in a couple of good kicks, sending Shiva scurrying for the front door of the building, Batgirl following. But thanks to the endless shots of the escaping deadly steamy gas, we're prepared for the massive explosion that blows out the building, sending Batgirl flying backwards. The force of the blast and her fall knock her mask off, but in the next shot it's magically back on. "Shiva!" says Batgirl. Inside, a not at all burned or anything Shiva lies motionless on the floor, mask off. Shiva looks Asian, and the camera pulls in on the dragon medallion round her neck. Fade to white.

Aaron: Fade to white? Gimme a break.

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