Birds of Prey
Birds of Prey

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C | 329 USERS: C+
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The Origin of Feces

Barbara's face is bathed in green light as she ponders the deaths while Helena rummages for food in the cupboard. "I'm telling you, the word on the street is that these deaths are your garden-variety 'goodbye, cruel world,'" she says. Who talks like that? Barbara says it doesn't make sense, because it was almost like the men were running from something. Really? Because most suicides are all about confronting problems. "If I were to commit suicide…" begins Barbara. "You wouldn't," says Helena, adding that it's not in Barbara's nature. "I resent that," says Barbara. "I'm as broody and romantically self-destructive as the next girl." This really hilarious take on suicidal tendencies devolves into an argument about the division of duties in the Birds of Prey household. Helena figures that since she's the one with all the "night sweeps," "field work," and "bruises in really embarrassing places," then Barbara ought to be able to go to the grocery store once in a while. "What is this obsession with food?" says Barbara. "You try fighting the forces of evil when your blood sugar's low," says Helena, cocking her head. Another halfway amusing line rendered cringeworthy by Ashley Scott's delivery. Somebody get this chick an Arrowroot. Fortunately, we're interrupted by an alarm going off. "Perimeter breach," says Barbara, checking the security monitor. "I can't get a good visual," she says, the expensive technology apparently useless here for no apparent reason other than to try (and fail) to create a surprise when Helena intercepts the intruder and knocks her out with a well-placed elbow. Oh, what a surprise! It's Dinah! Wah-wah!

Dinah lies unconscious on the couch as Barbara and Helena discuss what to do with her, since she knows how to get in and may know who they are. "We could kill her," jokes Helena, but Barbara reminds her, "We're the good guys. We don't kill innocent people. We don't kill anyone." "Speak for yourself," Helena says. Yeah, you look like a stone-cold killer. Barbara proceeds to chew out Helena for letting the girl follow her back to their "secret lair." Helena maintains that she wasn't followed. Dinah stirs and wakes up, and apparently her grogginess didn't prevent her from following the conversation, as she tells Barbara it's not Helena's fault, since Dinah did follow her. "She didn't know," says Dinah. Uh, yeah, that's how following someone is generally supposed to work. Barbara asks how Dinah got in, but when Dinah looks at Barbara for the first time, she flashes back to her vision of the Joker shooting Barbara. "It's you," she says happily, looking from Helena to Barbara. "I should have known you two would be together." Then she leans forward and says, "Sometimes when I touch people, I see things. Things that only they know. And, sometimes, when I dream things, they come true." Helena and Barbara exchange glances, because sometimes when they touch, the honesty's too much.

Birds of Prey

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