Then the doorbell rings, I guess, since we see her open her apartment door. Standing there is the Joker. Holding a gun. Pointed at Barbara. Apparently in this version of the Batman universe, apartment doors don't have peepholes. Joker shoots her and she falls backward in slow motion while the Joker -- looking for all the world like Jake Busey in white makeup and green hair -- says, "Knock knock! Who's there? Batgirl -- past tense." What? That joke sucks, despite Joker's maniacal laughter while blood pools on the porcelain floor around Barbara's Batgirl costume, which she apparently just drops in a pile by the front door of her apartment when she gets home from work. In that respect, she and I are alike. When there are five shirts and five ties scattered by my front door, that's how I know it's Friday. Why, yes, I live alone. Why do you ask?

Now, a little blonde girl wakes up from a nightmare, screaming. Okay, has anyone ever actually woken up from a nightmare by sitting straight up and screaming? I didn't think so. Anyway, this girl is Dinah Lance, who lives far from New Gotham. Dinah's mom comes in as Dinah screeches about seeing a woman stabbed and a woman shot. Her mother comforts her and tells her it's just a dream. "We've talked about this. Whatever you think you see, it's all your imagination. None of it's real." To placate her mom, Dinah agrees. Alfred voice-overs, "But Dinah knew her visions would become her future." Fade into an older, blonde Dinah, played by Rachel Skarsten, on a bus, while I think Oasis sings something about not being scared. "And so, seven years later, our story begins as Dinah arrives in New Gotham, to seek out her dreams, and follow her destiny."

Please, no more cheesy voice-overs.

Here's a good reason not to take a bus: you don't get hit on by guys who can't afford cars. In this case, the guy why invites himself into the seat next to Dinah was last seen being force-fed Vanilla Coke by Chazz Palminteri all summer. He opens the conversation with that contrived, annoying, peculiar-to-television-and-movies method of asking a cryptic question, confusing the person you're addressing and requiring you to explain yourself, thus setting the conversation in motion. In this case, it looks something like this: