Birds of Prey
Pilot

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The Origin of Feces

Commercials. Okay, in that Sheer Blonde commercial, am I supposed to have any idea who the incredibly vacuous "Alex and Brit" are? Am I supposed to care?

Barbara has traded in the wheelchair for some SUV-type vehicle and is instructing Dinah to get over to Ketterly's place as soon as she can. She's also yelling at Helena to concentrate on her voice, since "it may interfere with whatever auditory-neural connection he's using." I love crap science in comic books, I truly do. Meanwhile, Ketterly tells Helena he's surprised at her: "It doesn't usually take people this long to open up to me." He praises her strong mind but says they have plenty of time. "I know you want to tell me," he says. Helena whimpers, "She died. I lost her. I lost everyone." Ketterly says, "To love someone and to lose them right in front of you." All the while he's pulling out this absolutely massive knife out of a special box.

I guess the dockyards of Gotham are really close to Ketterly's chi-chi neighbourhood, since Dinah has already managed to get herself up and out of the secret basement and over to Ketterly's door. It's locked, causing her some consternation, but she tells herself that if she wants to fight bad guys, she's going to have to deal with locked doors once in a while. So she smashes a glass pane with her fist, not cutting herself or anything. Yeah, I'm buying this.

Helena's now holding the knife with both hands and is beginning to press the tip into her chest, drawing a little blood. Dinah rushes in, yells, "Helena!" and jumps at Ketterly. Good plan, genius. With a fire poker he's suddenly holding, Ketterly whacks her in the stomach, knocking her to the ground. "What have we here?" he says. "Just another little girl." "Not exactly," says Barbara, suddenly there. She throws some…neon…disc…thing at his head, knocking him down. She motors over to Helena's chair and gently tries to take the knife from her, but Ketterly, from the floor, says she's too late. "It doesn't matter what you do to me here. Part of me stays in there with her. Where I've taken her, no one can follow." "I can," says Dinah, placing her hand over top of Barbara's and Helena's on the handle of the knife. We're in downtown Moose Jaw again.

Dinah says, "She won't hear men, not in here, but maybe she'll hear you," as Barbara strides forward, fully mobile, in her Batgirl costume. Huh? Anyone else get the sense that the show's going to make up the rules for this vague astral plane power as they go along? Barbara takes off her mask (or cowl, if you prefer) to talk to Helena, who's still holding the knife, but as Young Helena, who's whimpering about how she couldn't save her mom. "Heroes are supposed to save people," she says, adding that she's failed everyone who ever needed her. "You haven't failed me," says Barbara, saying that they have to protect each other. "I can't do this without you." What is this, Gilmore Girls with superpowers? Helena gives up the knife, and the director decides to show the blood trickling back up by running backwards the clip of the knife drawing blood, which was kind of confusing since that was of Helena in her Huntress getup, while here she's Young, Modestly Dressed Helena.

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Birds of Prey

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