Birds of Prey

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Hello, my name is Zzzzzzz

Back at the Clocktower, Helena's asking Barbara how that "Wade date" went, which is kind of a weird way to put it -- I mean, Barbara and Wade are sleeping together, after all, so why Helena is asking how the "date" went I have no idea, but at any rate Barbara doesn't want to talk about it. Nor, I'm assuming, does she want to talk about the fact that there's no way a television show can survive when it constantly treats its viewers like utter morons who might not remember plot points from one show to the next. I mean, it's not like comic-book fans are nothing if not endless stores of trivia about their favourite series. Anyway, Barbara says the police report states that Joey slipped and broke his neck on a rock, concluding that his death was caused by an alcohol-related accident, and Helena says an alcohol-related accident was probably the cause of his birth too, like, make jokes about it, why don't you. Barbara doesn't think things add up; she wants to take a closer look at the coroner's report. She asks if Helena's "callous attitude" means the accident hasn't changed her mind about going to the reunion, whatever that's supposed to mean. Helena didn't want to go to the reunion before, but the violent death of a former classmate's going to change her mind? Anyway, Helena says she has no desire to see these people, and can I point out that no one has figured out that Helena's reluctance might just might be due in part to the fact that her best friend from high school turned out to be a vicious killer. Do you think she wants to walk down the high school and see her old locker with "Huntress & Lady Shiva: BFF!" scratched into it? "You loved high school!" says Barbara, and Dinah's all incredulous about that as Barbara fills Dinah in on all the good times Helena had, even though I seem to remember Dinah spending some time with Lady Shiva (well, as Sandy), who filled Dinah in on all the good times Helena had in high school. How much do the producers of this show deserve to never again be allowed to work in the entertainment industry? Dinah wants to know happened. Helena cites her mom being killed, finding out her dad was Batman, and discovering that New Gotham was overrun by super-villains. And again Lady Shiva goes unmentioned. And again we're asked to swallow the "New Gotham infested with super-villains, yet the general public is unaware" aspect of this show's premise that makes me crazy. Also, I'd like to congratulate Helena for putting on a brave face and having such a great time in high school, what with her mom being stabbed to death TWO YEARS BEFORE SHE GRADUATED, since according to this show, all that went down seven years ago, and while we're on that subject, I seem to recall from the Lady Shiva episode that Sandy didn't know Helena's mom was dead, so I guess she didn't even tell anybody.

Okay, I have to stop getting sidetracked or I'll never get through this scene. But all the writers would have had to do was make this a ten-year reunion and the timeline would have worked a lot better. All I can suggest is that maybe Ashley Scott threw a hissyfit about that since that would make her about twenty-seven on the show, and she's not yet twenty-six, according to the IMDb. Of course, according to IMDb, she's also dating Ashton Kutcher, and even I know that he's doinking that girl with the really wide mouth from 8-Mile. Seriously, when she's yelling and screaming? She looks like she could unhinge her jaw and swallow a goat whole.

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Birds of Prey




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